--- title: "What is Overachievement?" description: "The price of anything is what we sacrifice to achieve it." author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/what-is-overachievement date: 2024-12-02 modified: 2024-12-02 language: en, zh --- # What is Overachievement? Epistemic Status: I understand how overlapping bell curves work --- The Bay Area Silicon Valley area has some of the highest Asian demographics in the U.S. Many of them on the H1B visa. Many of them from China. As an ABC I am not oblivious to the cultural dynamics at play. Though having spent many years in China, I feel like a ghost between two worlds. --- I see how the Chinese mostly cluster amongst themselves, speaking mandarin. Overall there is less effort to engage socially than say the immigrants from India. This results in political invisibility. Noticing this makes it difficult to engage in either community and keep to myself. I realize that by noticing the stereotype I fall into the stereotype. I am absent from the community. Some of this is lack of social maturity. The education system in China has certain merits like an increased floor in basic math skills. But the external world is so pre-digested by parents, teachers, and the state that this can result in an eternal student mentality. One that waits for instructions and goals. One that sacrifices agency as "this doesn't look like anything to me" for the practical and tangible results of "success", recognition and reward from an authority figure. Friendship groups in Chinese culture are not based on individual affinity because everyone is shaped roughly the same. If you work on a team at a company, that team becomes your social network. There are few attempts to reach out beyond what destiny has decreed. In this sense, every relationship is a situationship. As long as the seats at the hotpot table are filled, does it really matter who fills them? This is not unique to China. Collectivist cultures homogenize and through this commoditize familiarity, safety, and belonging. Orthodox privilege taken to the extreme. The greater cultural influence of Korean and Japanese exports mask their common Confucian roots. The 996 grind of China, the Chaebols of Korea, and the Keiritsus of Japan. This is what it means to wholly belong to something. Joining the CCP and getting an MBA. They feel similar to me. "I know how to play The Game" You cannot be in two such games at once. --- The "mindless" machine stereotype is unfairly applied to the Chinese I think. "Everyone is just a slightly different variation of the same person." Often it's just a roundabout way of expressing racism. Of rounding down individuality. A city in Japan that is known for its cream is known for producing artisanal produce and protecting traditional values. A city in China that produces all the world's glasses is just Ching Chong City #11, one to demand lower prices from by deriding the quality and then selling at a 20x markup as high quality. Supposedly the Lululemon founder for example found it funny that the Japanese could not pronounce the brand but would spend money to buy this high margin 'luxury' good. I think a Chinese or Korean person might have a small laugh at this, but I doubt there was much attempt by the founder at distinguishing the "orientals". The long lines at ramen shops sometimes seem like an apology from the west. "This is sooo good, and soo different and soo cultural" Do they know that even in Japan ramen is considered Chinese food? The pinyin romanization "la mian" means nothing without the katakana to nudge it into the Overton window. --- I remember my U.S. middle and high school years where being a FOB was social death. Someone you could make fun of behind their back and even to their face and they wouldn't "get" it. If you were a FOB you weren't part of the cultural zeitgeist but a social commodity. Like concrete, the hidden foundation on which upper class hierarchies are built. I remember my time in a Chinese high school. Some people would distance themselves from me for not being "smart" enough. Having built an entire identity around being good at math and a good student this was jarring. So what if I was socially invisible, at least I as *smart.* Well... not anymore. Just another dumb American. In the U.S., sometimes the American born east asians want to distinguish themselves from the mainlanders. Interactions seem to be done at a distance, like poking at a roadkill. If the two got too close then they wouldn't be able to be distinguished by others. This is more pronounced for the women and less for the men, who seem to bond more easily around things like sports, league of legends, or investing. I see the depiction in the media of east asian men. "this is why in Japan they have women-only train carriages and the phones have to make a 'click' sound when taking a picture". Many appreciated the popularity of Bruce Lee and other actors who provided an alternative stereotype. It never really evolved past this. I recognized the lead Chinese actor in Shangh-Chi from the show where he played a Korean. I once attended a corporate diversity seminar. Maybe this is where I could be seen? I realized quickly that it was not diversity of heart, mind, or soul that was desired. It was physical diversity. It was the same "more of US, less of THEM" at the heart of every political group vying for influence and power. They never pointed out exactly what the the "us" and "them" were. But I think everyone knew. --- Unlike Korean and Japanese exports, Chinese exports seem bleached of their cultural roots. The most dominant and high quality consumer facing examples like TikTok and DJI seems almost American in value. They are for *showing off*. The more Chinese feelings ones like Alibaba, Shein, and Temu are used almost secretively, as if somewhat ashamed that one would have to concern themselves with price. Many people imagine that if the CCP were to stop being so oppressive that 100 flowers would bloom and that suddenly all the Chinese would have some great truth to express. This isn't necessarily true. This I understand about my parent's generation. They wanted their work to speak for themselves. "Why do young people have so much to say?" If cultural flair reduced the market value then it should be removed. Price was the price of everything. The tiger mom does not want Beethoven performed with oriental flair. She wants entrance and recognition in the halls of the elite in the era of pax americana. But quiet brilliance does not work when you are invisible. --- Perhaps this is why it's so jarring for the older generation to see blackness sprinkled into everything even as the younger generations bond over naruto-attack-on-titan-hip-hop-keep-it-realness. Prior to the Silicon Valley boom, many immigrants were not highly paid professionals in safe high-tax neighborhoods. They were disproportionately victims of crime. Victims who never fought back and just dealt with it. There are shadows of this stereotype as people look to China and wonder "Why don't they rebel or something? Are they spineless?" They say this even as they wave around a picture of someone facing down a tank. Stereotypes are hard to shake. They stick to you like sweat on a coolie. Even someone who stood in front of tank, would likely be conflicted if the tank began to lift his friends and children and their children's children out of poverty at the fastest rate in history. You cannot call for revolution when the revolutionaries are still the ones in power. --- To be commoditized and treated like a "thing" leaves cracks in the psyche. Cracks that never really heal. Perhaps the COVID dog killings during the lockdowns in China best exemplify the cultural divide. In the U.S. not even dogs are treated as things. Like children they are considered pure souls who can do no wrong. While in China, at least for the previous generations, children were treated like investments. Something to care for yes, but like a fruit tree, expected eventually to bear fruit. A future. You cannot expect only children to bear the responsibility of providing meaning for so many generations without losing a part of themselves. --- So... what does all of this have to do with overachievement? Well I've wondered for a long time what over achievement actually was... How can you have too much achievement if achievement is defined as "the good thing". In short, over achievement is a form of greed that sacrifices what shouldn't be sacrificed for excess of what should be enough. It's chasing excessive distinction despite already being distinguished. Because distinction is never granted, there is never the feeling of "enough". There is never enough money, never enough status, never enough of anything. Just a constant feeling of lack and a background ache of anxiety. When you get so desperate for something to fill the void you burn for fuel the things that are sacred. You sacrifice love itself. And without love on which to be the measure of all things you have nothing to anchor yourself. You become a fake producing fakes. Sacrificing the inner heart for the outer "Mianzi" China's productivity and its achievement of some pseuodo-utopian ideals ring hollow when they seem to be achieved by sacrificing love. When it burns the very thing that anchors us to what is real. ## 中文版 (Chinese version) **认识论状态：我明白重叠正态分布的运作原理** 硅谷所在的旧金山湾区是美国亚裔人口比例最高的地区之一。其中许多人持H1B签证，许多人来自中国。作为一个美籍华裔（ABC），我对这些文化动态并非视而不见。然而，在中国生活了多年后，我常觉得自己像个游荡在两个世界间的幽灵。 --- 我注意到，大多数中国人倾向于聚在一起说普通话。总体上，与印度移民相比，他们在社交上显得不太主动。这种倾向导致了政治上的隐形。 意识到这一点后，我发现自己很难融入任何一个社群，只能选择独处。我也意识到，自己因注意到刻板印象而陷入刻板印象。我游离于社区之外。 部分原因是因为缺乏社交成熟。中国的教育体系在某些方面确实有优点，比如基础数学技能的整体提升。但由于外部世界被父母、老师和国家预先“消化”过，这常导致一种永远的学生心态。 一种等待指令和目标的心态。一种牺牲自主性、以“这对我来说没什么意义”换取“成功”的实际和有形成果、权威认可与奖励的心态。 中国文化中的友谊群体往往不是基于个人兴趣，而是因为大家都被塑造成了大致相同的模样。如果你在公司里的一个团队工作，那么那个团队也就成为了你的社交圈。几乎没有人试图突破命运的安排去主动拓展关系。 从这个意义上来说，每一段关系都是一种“情景关系”。只要火锅桌上的座位被填满，坐的是谁真的重要吗？ 这并非中国所独有。集体主义文化倾向于同质化，从而将熟悉感、安全感和归属感商品化。这是将正统的特权推向极端的表现。 韩国和日本的文化输出掩盖了它们与中国的儒家文化根源的共同性。中国的“996”工作文化、韩国的财阀体制、日本的企业集团——这些都是“完全归属某物”的体现。 加入中国共产党和攻读MBA在我看来是相似的。 “我知道如何玩这个游戏。” 你不能同时参与两个这样的游戏。 --- “中国人是‘无脑机器’”的刻板印象，我认为是不公平的。“每个人只是相同人的稍微不同的变体。”这种说法常只是种族主义的委婉表达，用来抹杀个体的独特性。 一个以奶油闻名的日本城市，会以其手工艺术品和保护传统价值观而闻名。一个生产全世界眼镜的中国城市，却只是“某某中国城11号”，一个可以通过贬低质量来压低价格、然后以20倍溢价出售为高质量产品的地方。 比如，传闻露露柠檬（Lululemon）的创始人认为，日本人无法正确发音这个品牌的名字很有趣，却愿意花高价购买这种高利润的“奢侈品”。 我想中国人或韩国人可能对此一笑置之，但我怀疑创始人是否认真区分过“东方人”。 排队买拉面似乎有时像是在向东方道歉。“这真的太好吃了，太不一样了，太有文化了！”他们知道吗？即使在日本，拉面也被认为是中国食物。没有片假名来将其推入公众可接受范围的拼音“拉面”毫无意义。 --- 我记得美国的中学和高中生活，当时作为一个“FOB”（刚下飞机的移民）几乎是社交的死刑。你会被人当面或背后取笑，而你甚至“听不出来”。如果你是FOB，你就不属于文化潮流，而只是一个社交商品。像混凝土一样，是上层阶级体系隐形的基础。 我也记得在中国的高中生活。有人会因为我“不够聪明”而疏远我。我的整个身份都建立在擅长数学和当一个好学生的基础上，这让我倍感冲击。即使我是社交上的隐形人，但至少我很聪明吧。然而，事实并非如此。我不过是另一个笨美国人罢了。 在美国，有时本土出生的东亚人想与大陆人划清界限。互动常常带着距离感，像在戳探路边的动物尸体。如果两者太过接近，就很难在别人眼中区分开来。这种现象在女性中更为明显，而男性则更容易通过体育、英雄联盟或投资等话题建立联系。 我看到媒体对东亚男性的描绘。“这就是为什么日本会有女性专用列车车厢，手机拍照时必须发出‘咔嚓’声。”许多人怀念李小龙等演员，他们提供了一种刻板印象的替代形象。但这种形象从未真正演变。比如，我认出了《尚气》中中国男主角的演员，他之前在一部剧里演的是一个韩国人。 我曾参加过一次企业多样性研讨会。也许这就是我可以被看见的地方？我很快意识到，大家追求的并不是心灵或精神的多样性，而是身体上的多样性。这和每个试图争夺影响力与权力的政治群体的核心思想一样：**“更多的‘我们’，更少的‘他们’”。** 尽管从未明确指出“我们”和“他们”具体是谁，但每个人心里都清楚。 --- 与韩国和日本的文化输出相比，中国的出口产品似乎被漂白了文化根源。像抖音和大疆这样主导市场的高质量消费品，几乎呈现出美国的价值观：它们是用来炫耀的。而像阿里巴巴、Shein、Temu这类更有“中国情感”的产品，却往往被人秘密使用，仿佛在为自己不得不考虑价格感到羞愧。 许多人想象，如果中国共产党不再如此压迫，百花齐放，所有中国人都会突然表达出某种伟大的真理。但这未必是真的。 这一点，我理解父母那一代人。他们希望自己的工作能说明一切。“为什么年轻人有那么多话要说？”如果文化上的色彩降低了市场价值，那就应该将其去除。价格是衡量一切的标准。 虎妈并不想听带有东方风格的贝多芬演奏。她想要进入并得到美利坚和平时代的精英阶层的认可。 但当你隐形时，默默的辉煌是行不通的。 --- 或许这就是为什么看到“黑色文化”被融入一切时，老一代人感到如此冲击，而年轻一代却通过火影忍者、进击的巨人、嘻哈文化和“保持真实”而建立联系的原因。在硅谷繁荣之前，许多移民并不是生活在安全的高税区高薪专业人士。他们更多是犯罪的受害者。他们从不反抗，只是默默承受。 这种刻板印象的影子延续到人们看向中国时，心生疑问：“为什么他们不反抗呢？难道他们没有骨气吗？” 他们一边说着这些话，一边挥舞着一张面对坦克的人物照片。刻板印象很难摆脱，就像汗水粘在苦力身上那样。 即使是一个站在坦克前的人，当坦克开始将他的朋友、孩子以及子孙后代以历史上最快的速度带出贫困时，也可能会感到矛盾。 当革命者仍然掌握权力时，你无法号召革命。 --- 被商品化并被当作“物品”对待，会在心理上留下无法愈合的裂痕。也许在中国疫情封锁期间杀狗的事件最能说明文化差异。 在美国，甚至狗都不会被当作物品对待。像孩子一样，狗被认为是纯洁的灵魂，无论如何都无可指责。而在中国，至少在上一代人的观念中，孩子被当作一种投资。需要照顾，但也像果树一样，最终需要结果。 一种未来。 你不能期望独生子女在为无数代人提供意义的同时，不失去自己的一部分。 --- 那么……这一切和过度成就有什么关系呢？ 很长时间以来，我都在思考过度成就到底是什么……如果成就是被定义为“好东西”，怎么会有“过多成就”呢？ 简而言之，过度成就是一种牺牲不该被牺牲之物、换取过量“足够之物”的贪婪。是一种追逐过度区别的行为，尽管你已经与众不同。 因为区别从未被真正赋予，内心从未感到“足够”。永远不够钱，不够地位，什么都不够。只有一种持续的匮乏感，以及一种隐隐的焦虑痛苦。 当你迫切渴望填补内心的空虚时，你会燃烧那些神圣之物作为燃料。你牺牲了爱本身。 而没有爱作为万物的尺度，你将失去锚点。你成为一个假货，生产假货。用内心的真实换取外在的“面子”。 当中国通过牺牲爱来实现某种伪乌托邦理想时，其生产力和成就都显得空洞。 当它燃烧了将我们锚定于真实的本质之物时，成就本身也不再真实。 Discussion: [English](https://chatgpt.com/share/674d0dec-3798-8004-af06-e450baa3fed2) [中文](https://chatgpt.com/share/674d0e04-455c-8004-b092-3f62510dca67)