# David Jiang: full site content Generated 2026-10-10 from https://dj.theory-a.com. Index version: https://dj.theory-a.com/llms.txt. Contact: dj@theory-a.com. --- # About David Jiang Independent builder working at the intersection of finance, AI, and classical Chinese thought. Concerned with making hidden structure visible: in markets, in language, in the self-deceptions organizations and people run on. Reads across Daoist, Confucian, Gestalt, somatic, and probabilistic traditions. Works in English and Mandarin; lives in Shanghai and San Mateo, California. AI products, from problem to deployment. 10+ years building ML data tooling, drone operations software, and full-stack products, combining product judgment with hands-on ownership of architecture, implementation, and release. - Based in Shanghai, China (U.S. citizen; also San Mateo, California) - Languages: English (native), Mandarin Chinese (near-native) - Email: dj@theory-a.com - Founder of Theory A: https://www.theory-a.com ## Experience - **Principal / Founder, Theory A LLC** · Mar 2020 – present · Shanghai and San Francisco Bay Area. Solo-founded financial-intelligence platform plus the AI, visualization, and writing projects listed above. Owns product from customer research through implementation and deployment. - **UX Developer, Google (Wing / X)** · Jan 2019 – Mar 2020 · San Francisco Bay Area. Delivered airspace-management software used by the Australian government, replacing a JavaScript proof of concept with a production Angular application. Built drone telemetry and fleet-management interfaces with flight-operations teams. - **Lead UI Developer, Apple (Siri)** · Jan 2016 – May 2018 · Cupertino. Led UI engineering for Siri's internal ML data platform used by hundreds of contractors across locales. Built training-data and evaluation workflows, including ontology navigation and labeling. Owned UI architecture, reviews, testing, deployment, and mentoring. - **JavaScript Developer, Splunk** · Jul 2014 – Jan 2016 · San Francisco. Backbone.js development for a network-data ingestion and analysis application. - **Software Engineer, Neustar** · Jan 2014 – Jul 2014 · San Francisco Bay Area. AngularJS web development. Education: Cornell University, M.S. Computer Science (Cornell Tech, NYC). Co-inventor, U.S. Patent 10,700,950 (https://patents.google.com/patent/US10700950B2/en). ## Approach: the Theory of Constraints applied to AI AI can help one team produce more while the organization delivers less. More proposals, code, or content can flood a bottleneck with review requests, rework, and coordination, consuming the capacity that determines end-to-end throughput. David applies the Theory of Constraints to find where AI can relieve that pressure and increase what actually gets delivered. Full essay: https://dj.theory-a.com/theory-of-constraints ## Work with me - **AI product discovery and prototyping** (Startups, product teams, and founders): Taking an AI product idea from problem framing to a working prototype and first deployment. Full-stack ownership: architecture, implementation, evaluation, and release. https://dj.theory-a.com/about-me - **Internal tools and workflow integration** (Engineering and operations leaders): Designing and building internal AI tooling that relieves a real organizational bottleneck instead of flooding it. Informed by the Theory of Constraints. https://dj.theory-a.com/theory-of-constraints - **Technical mentorship and organizational AI literacy** (Teams adopting AI tools): Hands-on sessions that help teams and individuals use AI agents and LLM tools with judgment: what to delegate, how to verify, where it breaks. https://dj.theory-a.com/about-me - **In-person AI lessons in Shanghai** (Adults and parents in Shanghai): Practical one-on-one AI lessons for adults and parents near Zhongshan Park, Shanghai. Taught in English or Mandarin. No programming experience needed. https://dj.theory-a.com/services?lang=en Email dj@theory-a.com with a short description of the problem. ## Stance Across everything I'm trying to make hidden structure visible: in markets, in language, in the self-deceptions organizations and people run on. The concerns I keep returning to, in code and in writing at [Idea Garden](https://garden.theory-a.com): - **Self-deception as the central human problem**: the gap between what we claim to believe and what we actually feel or do. - **Embodied emotion as suppressed intelligence**: the Gestalt / somatic / Focusing tradition taken seriously. - **Structure over character**: office politics, geopolitics, and relationship dynamics as emergent from structure, not moral failure. - **Pattern recognition across domains**: honest comparative reading across Daoist, Confucian, Gestalt, somatic, and probabilistic frames. Frameworks I've coined and use as shorthand: *Neural Annealing*, *Mask and Daemon*, *Weaponized Taste*, *Pattern Integrity*, *Fluid Plurality*. Influences I return to: Jed McKenna, Keith Johnstone (*Impro*), James Carse (*Finite and Infinite Games*), Albert Hirschman (*Exit, Voice, and Loyalty*), Adlerian psychology, the Daoist and Confucian classics. I work in English and Mandarin and live between San Mateo and Shanghai, which is as much an epistemic stance as a logistical one: the two information ecosystems don't agree, and the disagreements are where the signal is. ## Frequently asked questions ### Who is David Jiang? David Jiang is a software engineer and founder of Theory A LLC. He previously worked at Apple (lead UI developer on Siri's internal machine-learning data platform) and Google (UX developer on Wing / X drone operations software). He holds an M.S. in Computer Science from Cornell University and is a co-inventor on [U.S. patent 10,700,950](https://patents.google.com/patent/US10700950B2/en) (filed as Wei Jiang). ### What does David Jiang work on? AI products and research tools (Hermes agent workflows, Komi Count on-device computer vision, GloVe Galaxy, Doodle Bench), financial visualization (Theory A, options chain and Kelly criterion tools), and bilingual English/Chinese writing and philosophy projects (A Casual Dao De Jing, Meowmeow & Woofwoof, Harmonious Rites). ### Is David Jiang available for consulting, contract, or collaboration work? Yes. David is open to AI product discovery and prototyping, internal tools and workflow integration, technical mentorship, and organizational AI literacy work. Email [dj@theory-a.com](mailto:dj@theory-a.com) with a short description of the problem. ### Does David Jiang offer AI lessons? Yes. David gives in-person, practical AI lessons for adults and parents near Zhongshan Park in Shanghai, in English or Mandarin. No programming experience is needed. Details are at [dj.theory-a.com/services?lang=en](https://dj.theory-a.com/services?lang=en). ### Where is David Jiang based and what languages does he work in? David lives between Shanghai, China and San Mateo, California, and is a U.S. citizen. He works in English and Mandarin Chinese and treats the gap between the two information ecosystems as a source of signal. ### How do I contact David Jiang? Email [dj@theory-a.com](mailto:dj@theory-a.com). You can also find him on [LinkedIn (david-jiang-74618251)](https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-jiang-74618251/) and [GitHub (dlwjiang)](https://github.com/dlwjiang). His writing lives at [dj.theory-a.com/writing](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing) and his idea garden at [garden.theory-a.com](https://garden.theory-a.com). ### What is David Jiang's intellectual stance? Across code and writing he tries to make hidden structure visible: in markets, in language, and in the self-deceptions organizations and people run on. Recurring concerns are self-deception, embodied emotion as suppressed intelligence, and structure over character. He works deliberately across Daoist, Confucian, Gestalt, somatic, and probabilistic frames, and has coined the frameworks Neural Annealing, Mask and Daemon, Weaponized Taste, Pattern Integrity, and Fluid Plurality. --- ## Projects ### Finance and markets - [Theory A](https://www.theory-a.com/) (Finance · Visualization): Financial intelligence platform that finds cheap convexity by visualizing dislocations between short-term traders extending Black-Scholes random-walk assumptions into the future and long-term investors who care about underlying earnings and revenue. - [Option Chains](https://www.theory-a.com/optionsChain/NVDA) (Finance · Visualization): Option chain visualization that shows volatility and expected moves inferred from trading activity. Plotting contracts at their breakeven points makes the implied-move cone visible. - [Kelly Game](https://www.theory-a.com/kellyGame) (Finance · Game): Interactive game that trains investor intuition for position sizing under the Kelly criterion. ### Machine learning and AI - [Hermes](https://hermes.theory-a.com) (Agent workflows & memory): Personal AI workspace that turns research and recurring tasks into reusable agent workflows. Carries context across sessions, records decisions, and packages methods as skills so agents improve over time. - [Komi Count](https://komi-count.theory-a.com) (Computer Vision): Fully local Go / Baduk / Weiqi image scorer using WebAssembly and on-device computer vision models. Nothing leaves the browser. - [GloVe Galaxy](https://glove.theory-a.com) (NLP · Visualization): Interactive 3D visualization of GloVe word embeddings for traversing the semantic geometry between words as constellations in vector space. - [Neural Network Visualization](https://mnist.theory-a.com) (Machine Learning): Interactive visualization of MNIST neural-network training, a companion to 3Blue1Brown's series. - [Doodle Bench](https://doodle-bench.theory-a.com) (AI · Benchmark): Compares AI models through their drawings, showing how each model interprets the same prompt alongside its generation time. - [World History](https://world-history.theory-a.com) (AI · Timeline): LLM-powered timeline creator that contextualizes historical events by weaving threads such as World War II, Chinese history, the Hermès brand, and quantum mathematics along a shared axis. ### Interactive tools - [Stickers](https://stickers.theory-a.com) (Interactive Experience · Search): Searchable collection of paper-cut memories that uses natural-language search to find the right feeling, then lets you drag and pin the keepsake that resonates. - [Cadence](https://cadence.theory-a.com) (Typing · Adaptive Practice): Adaptive typing trainer that models skill as a property of 26x26 bigram pairs to target typing bottlenecks precisely. - [Persona](https://persona.theory-a.com) (Personality · Visualization): Interactive personality explorer: shape a trait profile, find your closest fictional-character match, and compare the fit visually. ### Writing, philosophy, and art - [Poison](https://poison.theory-a.com) (Philosophy · Moral Alchemy): Interactive cabinet of moral alchemy revealing moral poisons, their counterfeit remedies, hidden premises, and working antidotes. - [A Casual Dao De Jing](https://a-casual-dao.theory-a.com/) (Philosophy · Translation): Approachable, casual re-imagining of the Dao De Jing, a text too often treated as esoteric. Proofread against the original Chinese. - [A Casual Gita](https://a-casual-gita.theory-a.com/) (Philosophy · Translation): Companion to A Casual Dao De Jing for the Bhagavad Gita, leaning more heavily on LLM translation as collaborator. - [Meowmeow & Woofwoof](https://meowwoof.theory-a.com/gallery) (Fiction · Bilingual): Chinese and English anthology of adult fables about the anomie of liquid modernity, presented as Socratic dialogue between a dog and a cat. - [Harmonious Rites](https://constitution.theory-a.com) (Satire · Philosophy): Satirical constitution in the tradition of Lu Xun, who criticized Confucian values as 吃人 (cannibalistic). Argues that the dynamic is even more prevalent today despite greater material wealth. - [Yuan Ling Tarot](https://tarot.theory-a.com) (Art · Archetype): Custom tarot deck embodying primal-spirit archetypes, co-designed with Midjourney. - [Path & Play](https://www.youtube.com/@PathAndPlay) (Interviews): Ongoing interview series bridging the gap of understanding between China and the West. ### Earlier - [Bayes Impact Hackathon 2014](https://bayeshack.devpost.com/submissions/30292-detecting-and-visualizing-prostitution-rings-teamthorn) (Civic Tech): Grand-prize-winning visualization tool (team of five) for detecting hidden prostitution rings to help prevent child sex trafficking. - [D3.js Data Visualization](http://dlwjiang.github.io/d3portfolio2/) (Data Visualization): Early data-visualization experiments built with D3.js. --- # The Theory of Constraints as Applied to AI Integration By David Jiang · https://dj.theory-a.com/theory-of-constraints · 8 min read AI tools and processes are a rapidly evolving technology. This creates a difficult situation for companies. The changes are far too disruptive to ignore, but must also be integrated real-time into existing workstreams with minimal disruption to existing and future commitments while also adapting to the effects on morale, culture, and organizational efficiency. It is common for individuals to *feel* the power and potential of AI but without it manifesting as tangible improvements in hard metrics like revenue growth, time-to-completion stats, as well as soft metrics like career growth and employee satisfaction. The primary reason for this lies in the [Theory of Constraints](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_constraints) developed by Eliyahu Goldratt which can be summarized as: This essay builds on [Tiago Forte’s original Theory of Constraints series](https://fortelabs.com/blog/theory-of-constraints-101/), which applies these ideas to modern knowledge work. > Local improvements everywhere do not automatically translate into the global improvement of the organization. This is because organization output, like an engineering system, is driven primarily by bottlenecks. In a coffee shop, if the cash register is the limiting constraint, no improvements to any other part of the system will make a difference. Not better customer service, not better food or coffee, not faster wifi, not cleaner bathrooms. ![New projects queue at a bottleneck, limiting the work that reaches completed throughput.](https://dj.theory-a.com/theory-of-constraints/figure-1.webp) **Any improvement that is not at the bottleneck has no effect and often actually makes things worse! **Broad mandates to “Improve productivity using AI!” can actually have a negative effect on organizational efficiency if done so without awareness of organizational constraints. For example, if the engineering department is the bottleneck (the most scarce resource), then organizational throughput is limited by developer output. Excess capacity in marketing and product departments actually make the bottleneck worse because it takes away productive capacity from the bottleneck via effects like requests for estimation. This makes the bottleneck even smaller, reduces organizational throughput, and gives the upstream work centers even more spare capacity which creates more requests for estimates which makes the bottleneck even worse and so on. In one [case study](https://fortelabs.com/blog/theory-of-constraints-106-dbr-at-microsoft/) at Microsoft, an innocuous policy to provide time-estimates within 24 hours caused a 40% reduction in bottleneck capacity! ![Upstream marketing and product requests crowd the engineering bottleneck; estimation consumes 40 percent of its capacity.](https://dj.theory-a.com/theory-of-constraints/figure-2.webp) Even downstream work centers can affect the bottleneck because they may require decision touchpoints with engineering.  This creates *more* overhead, *more* meetings, *more* phone calls, *more* email, *more* blocked decisions and so forth. ![Upstream and downstream teams direct new projects and decision requests toward the engineering bottleneck.](https://dj.theory-a.com/theory-of-constraints/figure-3.webp) At this point, the mandate to “increase productivity” has drastically reduced total throughput. Everyone is mad at the bottleneck and the bottleneck is mad at everyone else. The solution? “Increase productivity even more!”. ![AI speeds up work around an unchanged engineering bottleneck, creating more requests and longer queues.](https://dj.theory-a.com/theory-of-constraints/figure-4.webp) Breaking out of the cycle requires internalizing the unintuitive realization that a company where everyone is busy optimizing their own productivity is incredibly inefficient if it comes at the expense of the bottleneck. In order to have maximum throughput, all other parts of the system that are not the bottleneck must have *spare capacity.* Without organization trust or awareness of this dynamic, managerial mandates can be interpreted as “Everyone stay busy!” which makes the problem worse and generates organizational dysfunction and resentment as everyone optimizes for their own performance at the cost of the bottleneck. ## Unique Issues with AI The Toyota Production System used in car manufacturing and the Agile Scrum systems used in software engineering systems both revolve around the idea of visualizing “Work In Progress” in order to figure out where the bottleneck is. (Car parts or work tickets end up piling in front of it.) This allowed the bottleneck to be constantly tracked and improved upon. Integrating AI creates new unique challenges! In some domains AI can perform at superhuman levels where specifying what to build takes about as much time as actually building it. In other domains, it can fail completely. The non-intuitive boundary between these tasks is known as the [“jagged frontier”](https://www.oneusefulthing.org/p/centaurs-and-cyborgs-on-the-jagged). This frontier is constantly changing and can make keeping up with and integrating AI capabilities a full time job. Imagine a car assembly line where one work unit could suddenly 10x its output and another had a 50% chance to either 5x or halve its output. Integrating these new capabilities with a positive effect on margin, revenue, culture, and morale requires a bottleneck-aware high trust culture. ### The Bottleneck Can Move Engineering is one possible constraint, not a permanent one. Even within engineering, understanding requirements, writing code, reviewing changes, integrating systems, and operating the result are different activities. AI can accelerate them unevenly. A team may produce implementations much faster without a comparable improvement in its ability to verify and safely deliver them. This is already visible in practice. [DORA’s March 2026 analysis](https://dora.dev/insights/balancing-ai-tensions/) of feedback from 1,110 Google engineers describes time saved generating code being spent on verification, alongside difficulties moving prototypes into production. [Anthropic reported](https://claude.com/blog/code-review) that review had become a bottleneck as its code output increased. These observations illustrate a possible shift, rather than establishing that every organization has the same constraint. Review is not a permanent endpoint either: AI can improve testing, review, and integration, allowing the constraint to move again. **AI can make engineering faster and still make its queue worse. **Suppose effective delivery capacity doubles, but the ease of proposing and prototyping projects triples the incoming workload. Engineering has improved in absolute terms while becoming more overloaded relative to demand. The earlier illustration’s “same capacity” assumption is not necessary for the problem to occur: requests only need to grow faster than capacity. AI also changes where work enters the system. Someone who once needed engineering to build a prototype may now build it themselves. The request becomes “help me integrate, secure, and maintain this.” The queue reappears later, carrying different work and often a stronger commitment to an existing solution. In other settings, the limiting factor may move outside engineering altogether: deciding what is worth building, reaching customers, or helping people adopt what has already been delivered. Does the bottleneck change faster? It can, but on different timescales. A new model, better tests, or improved access to internal documentation can quickly change which technical task takes longest. Organizational constraints may persist much longer: unclear priorities, slow approvals, or one person holding essential context. A faster tool does not automatically remove those conditions, and a temporary queue does not necessarily mean the system’s underlying constraint has changed. The practical response is to make identifying the constraint a recurring practice. Track where valuable work waits, how long it waits, and how much returns for correction. Reassess after meaningful changes in tools or workflow, without reorganizing around every temporary backlog. Improvements elsewhere can help when they reduce errors, interruptions, or unnecessary work reaching the constraint. The measure of success is useful outcomes delivered at acceptable quality—not the volume of code, proposals, or prototypes produced. ## Solutions A unique issue that arises with AI capability is that all roles are shifted towards a more technical role. When everyone can create their own tools, they are engaged in the process of software engineering whether they know this or not. Instead of rediscovering best practices from first principles it is better to draw on the experience and battle-tested processes of the industry. As a silicon valley engineer with over a [decade of experience](https://dj.theory-a.com/) working at large and small companies I am uniquely qualified to debug systemic bottlenecks at both the macro organization level (mapping the value stream through interviews & shadowing) as well as providing mentorship and feedback at the level of raw code. The primary focus would be to evaluate and improve broad organizational AI literacy. Examples of questions I’d focus on discovering the answer to: ### **Value Stream Mapping** - How does value creation move throughout the organization? - Where does it pile up and create bottlenecks? - How does communication flow through the various work units? - Are there disruptive deadlocked cycles where people feel blocked by decisions from each other? - How much overhead is created for each work unit by their upstream and downstream units? - Do work units have projects that can absorb spare capacity to provide organizational value without affecting the work-in-progress of other units? ### **AI Tooling Integration** - How much work is de-facto software engineering? - Are the right software development practices in place? - What mix of internal and external software and AI tools should be used? - What are the costs and opportunities of internal vs external? - How to evaluate and integrate new tools given the speed at which the industry cahnges? - Should there be production customer facing software systems such as dashboards? - Would there be on-call rotations and service level agreements? - Would the value add justify engineering roles? ### **Cultural** - Are there opportunities to mentor and be mentored within the company? - What are the effects of AI on employee morale? - Do the existing roles and responsibilities make sense or have they been disrupted by AI? - Are there on and off ramps for new roles and are they clear enough so that everyone knows what is expected of each other? - Is there enough organization trust to create “spare capacity” or does work accrue at the bottleneck as a convenient scapegoat? --- # In-person AI lessons in Shanghai In-person AI lessons for adults and parents. Shanghai · Zhongshan Park. Research, presentations, everyday tasks, or an idea you’ve been meaning to try. Learn to use AI through the things you actually want to do. No programming experience needed. Instructor: David Jiang, Software engineer & founder of Theory A. Apple: Tools supporting Siri’s machine learning; Google: Drone operations software at Wing; Cornell University: M.S. in Computer Science. ## Things we can explore together. At work or at home, what you want to do becomes the starting point for your lesson. - **Make work easier**: Draft emails and presentations, organize information, analyze spreadsheet data, and automate repetitive tasks. (Emails & presentations, Data analysis, Automation) - **Use AI in everyday life**: Plan trips, compare products, understand documents in another language, and put AI to work in familiar situations. (Travel planning, Product comparisons, Language help) - **Bring an idea to life**: Try building something you’ve always wanted to make, such as a website or a small app. (Websites, Small apps, Creative projects) - **Understand AI as a parent**: Learn what AI does well and where it falls short, how to check information, and how to protect privacy so you can make informed decisions about AI at home. (AI literacy, Checking information, Privacy) ## The goal is to help you do it yourself. Each lesson starts with a conversation: what would be useful for you to be able to do? 1. **Start with your goal**: We begin with a real task from your work or everyday life. The content and pace adapt to your goals and experience. 2. **Try it together**: Learn how to give AI clear instructions, check its results, and adjust when something doesn’t work. Diagrams and concrete examples make complex ideas easier to understand. 3. **Make it your own**: Why choose this approach? What can you hand over to AI, and where do you need your own judgment? We work through each step until it makes sense. The aim is for you to keep experimenting and applying what you learn after the lesson. ## Meet your instructor I earned my master’s degree in Computer Science at Cornell University. At Apple, I developed internal tools supporting Siri’s machine learning. At Google’s Wing, I worked on software for drone operations. Now based in Shanghai, I’m building Theory A, an investment research platform that makes complex financial information easier to understand visually. I also create interactive tools for exploring how AI handles language and how neural networks learn. ## Why I teach > Making complex things understandable. That thread runs through my work. Alongside building tools, I want to be part of the moment when someone says “I get it” and starts using those ideas on their own. That’s why I offer these lessons. I continue to develop my own products, bringing that hands-on experience to the things that matter in your work and everyday life. ## Location & languages - **In-person lessons**: We can meet in a public place such as a café, or I can visit your home or office. We’ll agree on a location together. - **Near Zhongshan Park**: I give priority to people who can take lessons around Zhongshan Park. - **English & Mandarin**: I speak native English and near-native Mandarin. Working on real tasks can also be an opportunity to practice using English. ## Start with one thing you’d like to try. You don’t need a specific goal yet. Tell me what interests you, how you usually use computers and AI, and your preferred language and location. Email: dj@theory-a.com · Web: https://dj.theory-a.com/services?lang=en (English) · https://dj.theory-a.com/services (日本語) --- # Writing by David Jiang Essays on technology, markets, psychology, Chinese thought, and hidden structure. Some pieces are bilingual (English / 中文). Each post is available as Markdown at its URL with a `.md` suffix. - [预制菜](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/yu-zhi-cai) (2026-02-03): 每次想到预制菜 - [姥姥, 你要比我年轻了](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/lao-lao) (2026-01-24): 姥姥，请允许我这样唤你 - [Tired Gods](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/tired-gods) (2025-11-26): Somewhere in a high-rise, a woman hammers a piece of pork flat. Thwack. Thwack. The violence is precise. Her children hide in the corner, tracking the rhythm. - [Promise](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/promise) (2025-04-30): 你点头，却见光晕正从她指缝流逝。 - [Everything I've Learned from Figgie](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/figgie-lesson) (2025-02-18): Lessons from a Jane Street trading game. - [Tower of Bones](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/tower-of-bones) (2025-02-06): 让爱不再是债务，让生命不必成为祭品 - [Post-Intelligence Company Hierarchies](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/post-intelligence-company-hierarchies) (2025-01-06): Who will prompt the prompts? - [What is Overachievement?](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/what-is-overachievement) (2024-12-02): The price of anything is what we sacrifice to achieve it. - [Stories and Vectors](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/stories-and-vectors) (2024-11-25): Who we are is who we are becoming - [Skills are Relationships](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/skills-are-relationships) (2024-11-06): Your relationship with the piano matters more than your skill with the piano. - [Truth is Toxic to Most Companies](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/truth-is-toxic) (2024-11-05): Truth is counter-intuitively toxic to most companies. - [The Mind as a Function](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/mind-as-function-now-moment) (2024-11-05): Practical application of the "Now" Moment - [Navigating the 6 Paths of Pain](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/6-paths-of-pain) (2024-11-04): How to debug feeling stuck or lost. - [Investing is an Identity](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/investing-is-an-identity) (2024-11-02): When negative expected return is rational - [The Potential Energy of Love](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/love-potential-energy) (2024-10-30): How technology reduces the amount of love felt in the world. - [The Virtues of Victimhood](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/virtues-of-victimhood) (2024-09-10): Are there any downsides to eliminating suffering? - [Gumption Trap Cheatsheet](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/gumption-trap-cheatsheet) (2023-08-15): Avoiding the setbacks and hangups that cause us to give up completely. - [A UX Manifesto Through Quotes](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/ux-manifesto) (2023-06-15): Favorite quotes - [Bookshelf](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/bookshelf) (2023-05-15): Influential books --- --- title: "预制菜" subtitle: "weltschmerz" description: "每次想到预制菜" author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/yu-zhi-cai date: 2026-02-03 modified: 2026-02-03 language: zh --- # 预制菜 *weltschmerz* 每次想到预制菜，我脑子里盘旋的不仅仅是防腐剂的利弊，更是那些冷冰冰的商业逻辑：供需关系、保质期、库存周转率、成本控制，当然，还有那些被量化的“口感”和“营养”。 我想起生酮饮食，想起低碳水带来的所谓身心清爽。与此同时，无数法式甜品店在商场里遍地开花。这些精致的碳水炸弹，是在中国消费市场的炼蛊场里进化出来的终极形态，它们在空荡荡的商场里，为了争夺路人兜里那点可怜的、日益枯竭的注意力，进行着一场零和博弈。 在美国，我看着人们排起长队，只为吃上一碗正宗的"Ramen"；而不远处，那家挂着正宗招牌的拉面馆却门庭冷落，积满灰尘。 我看到一个移民家庭在排队。儿子低头盯着屏幕，在电子游戏里一次次按下“继续”。在那里，失败是反馈，而不是宿命；在那里，能力与等级挂钩，清晰可见。他沉迷的不是游戏，他沉迷的是公平。 而在大洋彼岸，父亲的兄弟, 那个仍留在中国的大伯，因为买不起一线城市的豪宅而黯然神伤。他看着这一家子在美国的独栋别墅，满眼嫉妒：“竟然还有游泳池！”（当然，他自动忽略了那高昂的房产税）。父亲挥拳向天：“都怪我生在中国！”儿子在职场撞上了“竹天花板”，约会软件上的招呼石沉大海，他也挥拳向天：“都怪我生为华裔！” 后来，儿子辞职去当了钢琴老师，试图解开那个困扰他半生的问题：“为什么我妈对这玩意儿这么执着？” 女儿则在误读中构建自己的幻想。她误以为“白人身份”是一艘救生艇，以为“爱”就是护照上的那枚印章。她梦想着有朝一日富到足以在爱马仕店里被店员“势利眼”地冷落, 那才叫地位。在股东大会上，LVMH的CEO宣布中国市场增长强劲，全场欢呼：“我们爱死中国人了！” 我也是股东之一。 这个家庭逃离了一种将人视为牛马、只为追求产量最大化的体制，但那个恶魔依然跨越太平洋在耳边低语：_你不够好。你还不够好。依然不够好。“焦虑”曾经只是家里的座上客，现在却成了永久的家庭成员。它咆哮着质问：我的投资回报率在哪里？！ 这些重压落在了那些从未主动要求出生的孩子肩上。没人知道该如何处理这种痛苦，只能把它代代相传。每个人都被困在这个跨太平洋的夹缝中。这里没有时区，也没有归属感。 在上海，我走进一家被万国商品塞满的进口超市。意大利的番茄酱、挪威的三文鱼、西班牙的火腿。这些东西经由那些能在一天内绕地球飞行的钢铁巨兽运来，通过磨练了数十年的冷链技术，由那些只能把尿撒在矿泉水瓶里的疲惫卡车司机送达。这背后，是由债务、变相奴役，以及由军事暴力和原子弹作为隐性担保的地缘政治契约编织而成的大网。 我常想，如果祖先看到这一切会怎么想。看着这一代人走进这些超市，却依然觉得这配不上自己。“这不够好。这不够Real。我知道一个更好的地方。” 但祖先没有回答。他们正躺在井底，挂着点滴，呆望着天空。他们被冻结在创伤的破碎中。怀念他们的记忆，远比面对他们变成的样子要容易得多。 他们能理解吗？新一代人宁愿通过他们所热爱和拥抱的事物来定义自己，而不是通过他们所憎恨和拒绝的事物。值得背负的重担，是那些能让你自由的，而不是那些将你束缚的。 这一代人拒绝“吃苦”，拒绝爱上苦难，因为他们太清楚沉迷于“从苦难中解脱”的那种瘾是多么危险。那是游戏里的五杀，是闪亮的新皮肤，是抖音上的一夜爆红。他们拼命想成为第一名，只是为了弥补在高考千军万马中成为第1,359,887名的失落。在骄傲与享乐主义的背后，是渴望摘下那副面具，一副正面微笑、背面却流淌着刻薄评判的面具。在这一切的核心，是一种直面情绪而非逃避情绪的深层勇气；是一种渴望体验让世界变得更宽容、更接纳，而不是排斥与孤立的愿望。 老人们似乎并未察觉。他们正忙着学钢琴、打鼓、跳广场舞。他们撑起了那些曾经主要服务于儿童的经济板块。 在喧闹的音乐中，他们没有注意到，我们正生活在一个“万物皆好转，却无人值得爱”的世界里。在这个世界里，每个人都在嘶吼：“我是真实的！我值得被爱！”，却没有人愿意倾听。每一天都充斥着令人精疲力竭的比较，万物皆比赛，人人皆指标，每一个成就不是验证了你的价值，就是否定了你的存在。 我看清了预制菜的权衡，我明白它的存在是因为市场有需求。我也明白，人们对它的拒绝，本质上是对“爱”的渴望。人们渴望摄入体内的东西是滋养的、有意义的，而不仅仅是为了给一个早已失去存在意义的系统提供利润，而被迫怨恨地吞下的卡路里燃料。 我看透了这些权衡，在这一切的核心，我看到了一种对自由的渴望，那是想要宣告灵魂不是预制菜的呐喊。即便这种呐喊的形式，仅仅是消费者在问“我该消费什么才能逃离消费主义”。 我想解释营销是如何制造“人为稀缺”和“低地位焦虑”，只为了卖给你解药。我想解释吉拉尔的模仿欲望：我们想要某样东西，仅仅是因为别人也想要，以及这如何导致了竞争和替罪羊机制。 我想解释，诚实地面对过去，用慈悲而非谴责的眼光审视它，是通向自由的第一步。这种自由不是抹去发生了什么，而是从“无休止地想要重写过去”的执念中解脱出来。我想解释，宽恕与其说是放下过去，不如说是放下了“过去本该不同”的那个念头。 我试图解释，但话到嘴边又只是半心半意。这些词汇汇聚在一起，用一种不属于我的语言乱作一团。我笨拙地挥舞着这种语言，却无法完全参透它背后的历史与深渊。 于是，我只能尽职尽责地阅读那些预制零食和饮料背后的营养标签。我去看那些为了维持医院利润率而过度开药的医生。我让一个AI去核查另一个AI的回答，只为了确认医生没在撒谎。我考虑建仓帕兰泰尔的股票，却又在纠结投资美国军工复合体的道德问题。 我放眼世界，看到的是一场无声的、消极的“不信任投票”。女人们不再相信男人有能力书写未来，毕竟现实中的男人怎么也拼不过偶像的光环；男人们觉得没理由去和充满瑕疵的真人约会，毕竟真人永远无法与完美的二次元纸片人老婆竞争。我看着他们被夹在那个不可能的选择之间：要么成为“最后一代”，要么引领一场革命成为“第一代”。 但这革命不会到来。因为革命，从未停止…… --- --- title: "姥姥, 你要比我年轻了" subtitle: "après-coup" description: "姥姥，请允许我这样唤你" author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/lao-lao date: 2026-01-24 modified: 2026-01-24 language: zh --- # 姥姥, 你要比我年轻了 *après-coup* 姥姥， 请允许我这样唤你。我还从未真正将这个词说出口。它像一块在舌下藏了三十年的糖, 待我终于尝到时，却是咸的。 在你四十岁那年，你离开了我们。那个数字像一把标尺，丈量着妈妈和我的生命线。她从未有机会学会：一位母亲如何老去，当她的女儿也成为母亲后，她如何还能站在身后将她托住。 你从未变成那种在饭桌上唠叨、妥协、挑拣菜叶的寻常老妇人。时间将你封存于一个永恒的可能性中，让你成为一尊永不坍塌的雕像。姥姥, 你知道吗？那成了最沉重的负荷。那个活着的女人，我的妈妈，一直在与一个幽灵般的你角力。她永远赢不了，因为你从未老去，从未有机会变得琐碎、脆弱或令人失望。 当妈妈养育我时，我曾以为那只是她的性格：过度保护、沉默如铁，总是携带着某种情感上的匮乏。如今我才明白，她是在用一具身体同时扮演母亲与女儿。她必须既是给予者也是接受者，没有上一代的缓冲，没有长辈的模板或安全网。她的每个决定都在悬崖边缘完成。她的爱，是由伤痕编织而成。 姥姥，尽管你不在此处，你却无所不在。你存在于妈妈拥抱我时的那丝犹豫里。你存在于她未曾说出口的安慰中。你存在于饭桌上那把永远被拉开半寸的第三把椅子里。你存在于她深夜突然绷紧的肩膀里。你存在于我童年的困惑中, 坐在那把椅子上，双脚悬空，触不着地面。 而我在你身上也看见了自己。这一生，我总在人离我而去前先离开他们。在学会"你好"之前，我先学会了"再见"。我曾以为这只是我的天性：冷漠、独立、安全。但今天我才意识到，那是你留下的遗产：一种通过血脉传递的防御机制。若由我来掌控离别，就再也不会被那种毫无预警的遗弃所击中。 我曾以为你的缺席像一张白纸，空无一物。但一个出生在没有屋顶的房子里的孩子不会说："这里没有屋顶。"他只知道雨水浸透床铺，夜寒塑造了他蜷曲的姿势。缺席不是空白，它是我们的气候。屋顶从未"缺失"，它的缺席是屋子里最有力的存在。我不是一个没有姥姥的人。我是在你留下的雨中长大的。我的盔甲的形状，就是你离开的形状。 姥姥，我给你写这封信，不是为了填补什么。真空无法被填满。我只想让那离去有一个可被哀悼的形状：一个日期，一个名字，一种温度。让你从"从未存在"转变为"曾经存在"。让你从一个幽灵，重新变回一个人。 一个停在四十岁的女人。一个从未见到女儿成为母亲的女人。一个从未见到孙辈坐在那把悬空的椅子上、双脚在空中晃荡的女人。 你的生命如此短暂，以至于没有时间犯下祖母们会犯的那些错。但没关系。我现在愿意犯错，愿意成为一个不完美但真实的祖父, 如果有一天我会有这个机会。我想要缓慢而笨拙地，走完你没能走完的路。 你不再需要守望那把椅子了。我会给它加个垫子，让它不再那么令人不安。 然后，或许，我们都能坐下来。 你的外孙, --- --- title: "Tired Gods" subtitle: "疲惫的神" description: "Somewhere in a high-rise, a woman hammers a piece of pork flat. Thwack. Thwack. The violence is precise. Her children hide in the corner, tracking the rhythm." author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/tired-gods date: 2025-11-26 modified: 2025-11-30 language: en, zh --- # Tired Gods *疲惫的神* In the silence of the nursery, a single child opens his eyes and sees four grand-ancestors and two parents staring back. He is not a baby; he is a structural load-bearing wall. He is a grandson, a son, a future husband, a future father, and a phantom limb. He is the missing brother. He is the ghost of the cousin who was never born. The emotional labor of a village is funneled into a funnel the width of a single throat. Somewhere in a high-rise, a woman hammers a piece of pork flat. Thwack. Thwack. The violence is precise. Her children hide in the corner, tracking the rhythm. At dinner, the pork is served with a smile that doesn't reach the eyes. "Is it tasty?" she asks. The silence is loud enough to chew. Because the lattice is broken, the rows collapse into one another. The mother looks at her son and sees a husband. She demands the protection of a father, the intimacy of a sister, the loyalty of a spouse. The son learns the art of the toggle: become a doll when she needs something to hold; become a stone container when she needs to pour out her unmothered grief. He is a shapeshifter, exhausted before he learns to speak. Across town, a girl learns to be a little mother to her mother, a little wife to her father, and a ruthless, competitive brother to every boy in her math class. She keeps a collection of masks inside her Birkin bag. She tries to look Forever 21. She is terrified that under the LED mask, the goddess-skin is flaking. They meet, this boy and this girl, in a coffee shop. There is no chemistry, only recognition. They have already grown up together in the psychic soup of a lonely generation. They feel like siblings helping each other with homework. A kiss feels like incest; a touch feels like strategy. The implicit request is to become God. If you cannot be Tian (Heaven) by scoring the highest on the Gaokao, you must at least be in the top 10 of the local League of Legends server. The God-shaped hole in the child is bottomless. It is filled with a grave’s worth of ambition. The scars from the belt ache whenever the rejection letter comes. A 10x leveraged bank and a beaten child are the same economic model: both are borrowing heavily from a future that may not exist. Both are systems that shatter rather than bend. They cannot learn because they cannot make mistakes. The lover discovers you are not the eternal Tianzi. You are a 35-year-old salaryman with hair plugs. The epiphany is a crime. To let another human see you as not a god is a betrayal of the ancestors. The wedding vow is a contract: "I promise never to see you without a filter."  Because Godhood is unattainable, the ego regresses to the last time omnipotence felt real, when it was reasonable to dream of becoming hokage or the pirate king. Grown men remain frozen in the angry silence of a twelve-year-old boy who was never allowed to cry. A woman holds an insulin needle in one hand and a slice of cake in the other. Neither can be put down. Both are infinitely important. Friends meet for brunch to compare luxury goods. They place their bags on the table like shields. Their hearts have shrunk to fit inside the logos. A name is called, and a stranger replies. The makeup cannot be washed away. It has rusted into heavy metal poisoning. We ask ourselves: which pattern of scars is the prettiest? From the sky, looking down, everyone looks so lonely. From the ground, looking up, the sky is still so far away. At the banquet where no one truly pays, everyone still runs frantically in the hamster wheel: Each son is a defeated emperor, Each daughter is a wingless Nüwa, Each couple is a brother-sister marriage in the underworld, Each child is a new round— Once again, another tired god ## 中文版 (Chinese version) 育婴室的寂静里，独生子睁开双眼，看见四位祖辈与双亲凝视着自己。他不是婴孩，而是承重墙；是孙子、儿子、未来的丈夫、未来的父亲，亦是幻肢；是缺席的兄弟，是未能降生的堂亲的幽灵。整个村落的情感劳动被压缩成漏斗，最终汇入喉管般狭窄的通道。 高楼某处，女人用刀背拍打猪肉。啪。啪。暴力精准如节拍器。孩子们蜷在角落默数节奏。晚餐时猪肉端上餐桌，她挂着未达眼底的笑意问："好吃吗？"。寂静震耳欲聋，仿佛能咀嚼出声。 因脉络崩坏，代际相互倾轧。母亲凝视儿子时看见丈夫的影子，她索要父亲的庇护、姐妹的亲昵、配偶的忠贞。儿子学会切换的技艺：当她需要拥抱时化作布偶，当她需要倾泄为母之痛时变作石瓮。他是精疲力竭的变形者，尚未学会言语已耗尽元气。 城市另一端，女孩学着成为母亲的小母亲、父亲的小妻子，数学课上所有男生的竞争性兄弟。她的铂金包里收藏着面具阵列，努力维持"永远21岁"的幻象，却恐惧LED美颜灯下，女神肌肤正片片剥落。 咖啡店里，这对男女初次相遇。没有悸动，只有辨认。他们早就在孤独世代的灵性汤池里共同长大。相处如兄妹切磋课业，接吻似乱伦，触碰像博弈。 隐形的敕令是成为神明。 若未能在高考登顶封天，至少要在英雄联盟战区跻身前十。孩子体内的神形空洞深不见底，填塞着堪比墓穴的野心。录取通知书缺席时，皮带留下的疤痕便开始灼痛。十倍杠杆的银行与遭殴打的孩童共享经济模型：皆在透支未必存在的未来。二者都是宁碎不弯的体系，无法学习因不许犯错。 当恋人发现你不是永恒天子，只是植发的中年上班族，顿悟即成罪孽。让凡人窥见神性褪色，便是背弃列祖列宗。婚誓成为契约："我承诺永远用滤镜凝视你。" 因为神性遥不可及，自我便退回到全能力量最后一次真切存在的时刻——那时梦想成为火影或海贼王尚且合乎情理。成年男人们始终凝固在十二岁少年的愤怒沉默里，那个从未被允许哭泣的男孩。 女人左手执胰岛素针，右手托奶油蛋糕。两者皆不可放下，两者都重若千钧。 早午茶席间，友人比较奢侈品手袋。置於桌面的包袋如盾牌阵列，心脏已萎缩至恰好嵌进Logo。当名字被呼唤，应答的是陌生人。 妆容早已无法洗净，已锈蚀成重金属中毒。我们彼此叩问：哪种伤痕图案最是美丽？ 从云端俯视，众生皆似孤岛。从地面仰望，苍穹依然遥不可及。 在无人真正买单的盛宴里，群众仍在仓鼠轮中狂奔： 每个儿子都是败北的天子， 每个女儿都是折翼的女娲， 每对夫妻都是结冥婚的兄妹， 每个孩子都是新一轮, 再度, 唯一而疲惫的神。 --- --- title: "Promise" description: "你点头，却见光晕正从她指缝流逝。" author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/promise date: 2025-04-30 modified: 2025-04-27 language: zh --- # Promise **《诺》** 晨光初破时，她跪在溪边掬水，掌心盛满碎金般的阳光。 “美吗？” 你点头，却见光晕正从她指缝流逝。 **河往低处走** 承诺如流水，说过便忘了方向。未飞的鸽，未回的音，像一场未成形的生命，在等待中渐渐消逝。没有骤然的失去，便连哀悼也显得多余。 初遇时，一句“一起看这个世界？”换来无声的点头。可命运之舟终将分航，驶向各自的彼岸。距离撕裂了回声，呼喊成了哑剧。孩子不懂：为什么最爱的人，伤得最深？ **河道渐深时，水色开始浑浊。** 当资本自成神祇，子女沦为负累，社会还剩什么可爱？角色、剧本、宏大叙事——你被迫扛起不信的故事，如负枷游街。 巢已暖，等的人永不归来。它渐渐忘了在等谁，只记得等待本身。 文化如列车呼啸而过。 **入海前的最后弯道，河水突然清冽起来。** 摆渡人撑着篙轻笑。他见过太多人跪在幻象前献祭——父母剜去半生滋味哺育“未来”。有个少年曾在渡口嘶吼：“你们是为了我，还是你们未完成的梦？”山壁将回声掷还，碎成细雨坠入河中。 戴金丝眼镜的男人在演讲台高举数据图：“生育率跌破警戒线！”台下人群如惊飞的灰鸽。他们早已习惯用算法丈量情感：约会软件根据消费力推送“灵魂伴侣”，养老院床位明码标价孝心积分。 对岸有座玻璃温室，老人们隔着虚拟现实头盔拥抱孙辈的全息投影。有个穿校服的女孩蜷在墙角，皮肤下蜿蜒着充电线——她把自己改造成“完美孩子”那天，母亲哭喊着撕毁投资协议，却仍不忘给工程师打五星好评。 “谁教你恨自己？” 答案飘在风里，混着旧日阳光的余温。 **咸风起时，渡船已朽成珊瑚礁。** 少年将游戏手柄插进静脉，屏幕亮起父母代练的满分人生。当他发现角色无法死亡，便走到虚拟悬崖边纵身一跃。手柄从未接通电源, 教堂因此爆发骚乱。僧侣在华尔街的地板浸满红酒与圣水。两兄弟立于虚空，回望社会巨舰——龙骨是希望与梦的残骸，众生以带刺的绳索相系。“你不会跳的，对吧？” 像素化的风里，有串数据突然发出奶奶的嗓音：“回家喝汤吧。” **潮水退去时, 摆渡人化作白鹭，掠过水天交界线** 看呐，他们终于学会用倒影筑城。亿万道波光中，有人不再计算拥抱的回报率。 有老者撕碎遗嘱纵身跃入浪花——却在触水刹那，被多年前那个掬光的少女稳稳托住。 河入海处，承诺碎成盐粒... 而盐知道如何让伤口结晶成光。 狗仍信主人会归，孩童仍信痛有意义，而沙上之诺，虽注定溃散, 至少曾在某一刻, 反射过太阳。 - Guest post by GPT-o3 - --- --- title: "Everything I've Learned from Figgie" description: "Lessons from a Jane Street trading game." author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/figgie-lesson date: 2025-02-18 modified: 2025-02-18 language: en --- # Everything I've Learned from Figgie [Figgie](https://www.figgie.com/how-to-play.html) is a free Jane Street developed game that aims to teach intuition about trading. Although I don't consider myself a trader I've always been curious and wanted to develop an intuition around it. Here are a few takeaways that I've viscerally felt from playing the game for a few hours: ![Figgie, the trading game](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/Z7Tio57c43Q3f8Ty_Screenshot2025-02-18at11.30.31AM.png?auto=format,compress) 1/ The difficulty in drawing out the marginal seller informs the rarity. If you have to increasing up your bid without and takers it means that everyone is hoarding. Your edge needs to be larger than the premium necessary to pry it from the crowd. 2/ Likewise, when you have to constantly drop your bid to draw out the marginal buyer it means the suit is discounted. The buyer is usually gambling or hedging. There isn't much information in these trades. 3/ Alpha exists in having a earlier and clearer idea of reality than everyone else. It exhibits itself in being able to buy at cheap prices when the trading revolves around hedging. 4/ Alpha evaporates as you use it and coalesces into a clearer market picture. As the trading starts to revolve around the goal card instead of hedging, you have less and less alpha because the prices now reflect the reality you had early-access to. 5/ Alpha efficiency is the ratio of value gained vs information leaked in the trade. The most efficient trades work with noisy crowd movements vs standing out from the crowd. 6/ Price appreciation due to markets approaching truth is not reversible because truth is not reversible. 7/ Pure signal does not exist, every signal is probabilistic. 8/ Humans need to work with the models because a lot of the game is modeling humans and how humans model humans and models. 9/ You can't really calculate EV fast enough to act on market offers and bids. Often you have an intuition around buy/sell have to use the last executed price as an anchor for fair value. 10/ Uncertainty creates value around things that are not valuable. As clarity increases, the value of non-winners quickly drop to zero. 11/ Market makers can be a win-win source of edge because they can actually price what hoarders value at infinity. 12/ The best deals are from people who started off lucky because they have negative information about the real world. For example, they might think something is very common when it is rare and so sell it cheaply. (This is how many locals make money off of American tourists who are abundant with dollars) 13/ Market close creates fire sale opportunities. 14/ Creating false markets is very expensive and is similar to a 51% attack on market truth seeking. 15/ Where you start informs your strategy. Sometimes you have alpha sometimes you do not. Sometimes all you can do is minimize losses and wait for the next round. 16/ The two main situations seem to be either inventory averse or inventory tolerant. The only time you actually *like* inventory is when you have enough edge to act as an [Oracle.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warren_Buffett) 18/ Even when you think you have alpha, you have to size appropriately due to tail risks. --- --- title: "Tower of Bones" description: "让爱不再是债务，让生命不必成为祭品" author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/tower-of-bones date: 2025-02-06 modified: 2025-02-10 language: zh --- # Tower of Bones 《骸骨之塔》 东方屋檐下，婚姻是一座无窗的塔。砖石以生存之名堆砌，缝隙间塞满哑光的怨怼。妻子在灶台边磨碎年岁，丈夫的脊梁弯成沉默的拱门。孩子降生时，塔中升起一座新祭坛——幼小的身躯被铸成青铜器，盛放家族淤积的苦胆。 所谓“吃得苦中苦”，原是祖传的蛊。母亲将未绽的青春熬成汤药，一勺勺灌进孩童的喉咙。深夜补习班的荧光课表、奥林匹克题海、月考试卷上猩红的排名，皆是符咒，要镇压那名为“平庸”的鬼魅。少年在荣誉证书的磷火中行走，身后影子愈拉愈长，渐渐化作一具镂空的鞘。鞘中无剑，唯有母亲年轻时被剪断的麻花辫。 海外星辰冷得像旧瓷碗上的裂痕。黄皮肤的孩子在两种暮色间悬荡：一头是父辈用方言织就的茧，另一头是异国街角浮动的讥笑。他们学会用英语写十四行诗，却始终拼不出母亲眼中那团锈色的雾——那雾里站着穿的确良衬衫的少女，正把撕碎的情书埋进高考真题集。 家族的账簿永远在借方。母亲在家长群攀比孩子的脊椎弯曲度，父亲用加班费赎回自己被抵押的梦想。十岁女孩的日记本里，夹着百货公司橱窗的糖纸——她曾央求一条缀星光的连衣裙，却收到母亲用补习费换来的教辅书。那些未被说出口的爱与恨，和褪色的蝴蝶结一起被锁进衣柜。 暮色四合时，老宅梁木发出呜咽。那些被钉进木纹的童贞，那些为了稳固结构而浇灌的沉默。如今无数母亲仍把婴儿的啼哭编成缆绳，将家族的风筝系向虚妄的星空。但风筝上画的不是星辰，是祖辈的债务利息表，是子女被抵押的瞳孔里，永远飘着二十年前那条未买成的连衣裙的灰烬。 所有的母亲都在哭，所有的父亲都在修塔。没有人听见，塔基深处传来铅笔折断的轻响。 有人开始掀开地板。钢琴老师听见琴箱里积攒的呜咽，医学院高材生从解剖刀反光中瞥见母亲年轻时的堕胎单。最痛的是那些觉醒者——他们终于读懂，母亲当年在产房攥紧的不是希望，而是向命运掷出的复仇匕首。 如今的新芽长在光纤土壤里。他们用约会软件测量心距，在游戏皮肤商城收集破碎的自我。旧塔仍在倾倒，每一块坠落的砖都显影出被压扁的梦：穿芭蕾舞裙的会计，写代码的诗人，所有在签证面试时突然流泪的年轻人。 长生殿终究是镜阁。当我们凝视族谱，镜中映出的不是先祖面孔，而是所有未降生者空洞的眼眶——他们正等待被赎回，等待某双手终于解开那个死结：让爱不再是债务，让生命不必成为祭品。 - Guest post by Deepseek R1 - --- --- title: "Post-Intelligence Company Hierarchies" subtitle: "Who will Prompt the Prompts?" description: "Who will prompt the prompts?" author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/post-intelligence-company-hierarchies date: 2025-01-06 modified: 2025-01-06 language: en tags: best --- # Post-Intelligence Company Hierarchies *Who will Prompt the Prompts?* There are a lot of discussions about how [software interviews are broken](https://hn.algolia.com/?q=interview+broken). Combined with the recent [twitter conflict around H1Bs](https://x.com/i/grok/share/whIKqjxrTQxzmxnR1h54mKSn2) and the potential of AI to replace all of knowledge work I think it's important to think about what a post-intelligence world actually means for company hierarchies. Interviews essentially stack rank incoming applicants and look for hard-to-fake signals. LEET code style interviews are controversial but are correlated with general intelligence, age of a new grad, willingness to grind, etc... The most important part of the signal is that is should be rare yet **deserving of respect.** Culturally this manifests as constant anxiety about not being "smart enough" but practically it acts as a directional vector onto which hierarchies can align and humans can coordinate without infighting over the status quo. ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/Z3tm1ZbqstJ99D55_Screenshot2025-01-05at9.14.45PM.png?auto=format,compress) Maintaining organizational cohesion is more important that being able to the do the job. As an example, you may be interviewing with someone looking for a replacement due to a promotion to tech-lead. You want to signal worthiness, but not in a way that threatens organization cohesion. If the internal signal is disconnected from a real world signal, it can create a ["dead sea effect" ](https://daedtech.com/how-to-keep-your-best-programmers/)where external values need to be contorted into the internal values via motivation/coercion like equity/visas or risk evaporation of willing participants. Increasingly powerful AIs will increase this conflict even more as every job boils down into "Who has the right to prompt" Here are four more predictions on how organization hierarchies could change: ### # Effect 1 - Social Capital Becomes More Important From an executive's POV, a company basically IS an blackbox intelligence that acts based on prompts but only accepts FounderCoin as payment. When the ability-to-do-the-job is no longer a factor then the game is about responsibility and risk for the "Capital" you are trusted to manage. This already happens at the above-the-prompt level in existing hierarchies. When the job is prompting the organization, forms of social capital like Former Roommate can entitle you to more FounderCoin than raw intelligence because the trust in the integrity and alignment of the prompt is more important than the execution. Any organizational capacity that is below-the-prompt is increasingly commoditized and only the island of above-the-prompt is safe. ### # Effect 2 - Company Jungian Individuation While social capital within an organization becomes more important, regular capital outside of organizations becomes more potent. It become easier to start new companies and scale to infinity as cost of executing on an idea falls. So while being a part of any one specific company will feel less meritocratic, there will be more opportunities to create or choose from a larger variety of hierarchies of value. Companies will go through a Jungian individuation process with an extreme of every individual a solo founder simultaneously going through their own individuation process. ### # Effect 3 - Managers become Therapists Managers will act as domain-aware therapists. Instead of technical obstacles, the manager steers the team through nihilistic obstacles by managing the emergent story of the team. Per [Venkatesh Rao](https://contraptions.venkateshrao.com/p/the-world-is-not-enough-people) ###### > Recognition cannot be coerced through power, rules or norms. Nor can it be made to flow predictably independent of events and context.Ceremony can only garnish it. ###### > **Recognition must be voluntarily given and received by people exercising independent agency** within a shared story, responding together to events in the environment. ###### > When there is no such story, people feel their efforts are futile and meaningless. Trying to make efforts more efficient and effective without a story fuels nihilism. Overall there will be less need for managers due to flatter and smaller structures but the ones that remain will act as therapist-priests. They will need to be able to diagnose nihilistic wounds, explain how local stories fit into the overarching universal Story, and also deal with the occasional one-shotting by Ayahuasca. ### # Effect 4 - Painful Virtue Signaling Proof-of-alignment will be the most important signal to gain access to increased prompt responsibility. Virtue signaling will become more painful and cloying. People will write in all lowercase as a career optimization. It will no longer be enough to hold a relatively unknown opinion regarding shrimp euthanasia since high value opinions will be known and gamified. Signaling will adapt to be more difficult to fake requiring increasing amounts of sacrifice such as swearing off shrimp or going on Jain diets. Individuals will either successfully contort by becoming the new identity, or they will be rejected by anti-bodies and start their own company. Anyone below-the-prompt will live in constant anxiety up until the post-scarcity tipping point. Discussion: [English](https://chatgpt.com/share/677b665c-ff30-8004-bce0-2412ebbec71b) [中文](https://chatgpt.com/share/677b6643-e164-8004-a340-6fa5d9968ed8) --- --- title: "What is Overachievement?" description: "The price of anything is what we sacrifice to achieve it." author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/what-is-overachievement date: 2024-12-02 modified: 2024-12-02 language: en, zh --- # What is Overachievement? Epistemic Status: I understand how overlapping bell curves work --- The Bay Area Silicon Valley area has some of the highest Asian demographics in the U.S. Many of them on the H1B visa. Many of them from China. As an ABC I am not oblivious to the cultural dynamics at play. Though having spent many years in China, I feel like a ghost between two worlds. --- I see how the Chinese mostly cluster amongst themselves, speaking mandarin. Overall there is less effort to engage socially than say the immigrants from India. This results in political invisibility. Noticing this makes it difficult to engage in either community and keep to myself. I realize that by noticing the stereotype I fall into the stereotype. I am absent from the community. Some of this is lack of social maturity. The education system in China has certain merits like an increased floor in basic math skills. But the external world is so pre-digested by parents, teachers, and the state that this can result in an eternal student mentality. One that waits for instructions and goals. One that sacrifices agency as "this doesn't look like anything to me" for the practical and tangible results of "success", recognition and reward from an authority figure. Friendship groups in Chinese culture are not based on individual affinity because everyone is shaped roughly the same. If you work on a team at a company, that team becomes your social network. There are few attempts to reach out beyond what destiny has decreed. In this sense, every relationship is a situationship. As long as the seats at the hotpot table are filled, does it really matter who fills them? This is not unique to China. Collectivist cultures homogenize and through this commoditize familiarity, safety, and belonging. Orthodox privilege taken to the extreme. The greater cultural influence of Korean and Japanese exports mask their common Confucian roots. The 996 grind of China, the Chaebols of Korea, and the Keiritsus of Japan. This is what it means to wholly belong to something. Joining the CCP and getting an MBA. They feel similar to me. "I know how to play The Game" You cannot be in two such games at once. --- The "mindless" machine stereotype is unfairly applied to the Chinese I think. "Everyone is just a slightly different variation of the same person." Often it's just a roundabout way of expressing racism. Of rounding down individuality. A city in Japan that is known for its cream is known for producing artisanal produce and protecting traditional values. A city in China that produces all the world's glasses is just Ching Chong City #11, one to demand lower prices from by deriding the quality and then selling at a 20x markup as high quality. Supposedly the Lululemon founder for example found it funny that the Japanese could not pronounce the brand but would spend money to buy this high margin 'luxury' good. I think a Chinese or Korean person might have a small laugh at this, but I doubt there was much attempt by the founder at distinguishing the "orientals". The long lines at ramen shops sometimes seem like an apology from the west. "This is sooo good, and soo different and soo cultural" Do they know that even in Japan ramen is considered Chinese food? The pinyin romanization "la mian" means nothing without the katakana to nudge it into the Overton window. --- I remember my U.S. middle and high school years where being a FOB was social death. Someone you could make fun of behind their back and even to their face and they wouldn't "get" it. If you were a FOB you weren't part of the cultural zeitgeist but a social commodity. Like concrete, the hidden foundation on which upper class hierarchies are built. I remember my time in a Chinese high school. Some people would distance themselves from me for not being "smart" enough. Having built an entire identity around being good at math and a good student this was jarring. So what if I was socially invisible, at least I as *smart.* Well... not anymore. Just another dumb American. In the U.S., sometimes the American born east asians want to distinguish themselves from the mainlanders. Interactions seem to be done at a distance, like poking at a roadkill. If the two got too close then they wouldn't be able to be distinguished by others. This is more pronounced for the women and less for the men, who seem to bond more easily around things like sports, league of legends, or investing. I see the depiction in the media of east asian men. "this is why in Japan they have women-only train carriages and the phones have to make a 'click' sound when taking a picture". Many appreciated the popularity of Bruce Lee and other actors who provided an alternative stereotype. It never really evolved past this. I recognized the lead Chinese actor in Shangh-Chi from the show where he played a Korean. I once attended a corporate diversity seminar. Maybe this is where I could be seen? I realized quickly that it was not diversity of heart, mind, or soul that was desired. It was physical diversity. It was the same "more of US, less of THEM" at the heart of every political group vying for influence and power. They never pointed out exactly what the the "us" and "them" were. But I think everyone knew. --- Unlike Korean and Japanese exports, Chinese exports seem bleached of their cultural roots. The most dominant and high quality consumer facing examples like TikTok and DJI seems almost American in value. They are for *showing off*. The more Chinese feelings ones like Alibaba, Shein, and Temu are used almost secretively, as if somewhat ashamed that one would have to concern themselves with price. Many people imagine that if the CCP were to stop being so oppressive that 100 flowers would bloom and that suddenly all the Chinese would have some great truth to express. This isn't necessarily true. This I understand about my parent's generation. They wanted their work to speak for themselves. "Why do young people have so much to say?" If cultural flair reduced the market value then it should be removed. Price was the price of everything. The tiger mom does not want Beethoven performed with oriental flair. She wants entrance and recognition in the halls of the elite in the era of pax americana. But quiet brilliance does not work when you are invisible. --- Perhaps this is why it's so jarring for the older generation to see blackness sprinkled into everything even as the younger generations bond over naruto-attack-on-titan-hip-hop-keep-it-realness. Prior to the Silicon Valley boom, many immigrants were not highly paid professionals in safe high-tax neighborhoods. They were disproportionately victims of crime. Victims who never fought back and just dealt with it. There are shadows of this stereotype as people look to China and wonder "Why don't they rebel or something? Are they spineless?" They say this even as they wave around a picture of someone facing down a tank. Stereotypes are hard to shake. They stick to you like sweat on a coolie. Even someone who stood in front of tank, would likely be conflicted if the tank began to lift his friends and children and their children's children out of poverty at the fastest rate in history. You cannot call for revolution when the revolutionaries are still the ones in power. --- To be commoditized and treated like a "thing" leaves cracks in the psyche. Cracks that never really heal. Perhaps the COVID dog killings during the lockdowns in China best exemplify the cultural divide. In the U.S. not even dogs are treated as things. Like children they are considered pure souls who can do no wrong. While in China, at least for the previous generations, children were treated like investments. Something to care for yes, but like a fruit tree, expected eventually to bear fruit. A future. You cannot expect only children to bear the responsibility of providing meaning for so many generations without losing a part of themselves. --- So... what does all of this have to do with overachievement? Well I've wondered for a long time what over achievement actually was... How can you have too much achievement if achievement is defined as "the good thing". In short, over achievement is a form of greed that sacrifices what shouldn't be sacrificed for excess of what should be enough. It's chasing excessive distinction despite already being distinguished. Because distinction is never granted, there is never the feeling of "enough". There is never enough money, never enough status, never enough of anything. Just a constant feeling of lack and a background ache of anxiety. When you get so desperate for something to fill the void you burn for fuel the things that are sacred. You sacrifice love itself. And without love on which to be the measure of all things you have nothing to anchor yourself. You become a fake producing fakes. Sacrificing the inner heart for the outer "Mianzi" China's productivity and its achievement of some pseuodo-utopian ideals ring hollow when they seem to be achieved by sacrificing love. When it burns the very thing that anchors us to what is real. ## 中文版 (Chinese version) **认识论状态：我明白重叠正态分布的运作原理** 硅谷所在的旧金山湾区是美国亚裔人口比例最高的地区之一。其中许多人持H1B签证，许多人来自中国。作为一个美籍华裔（ABC），我对这些文化动态并非视而不见。然而，在中国生活了多年后，我常觉得自己像个游荡在两个世界间的幽灵。 --- 我注意到，大多数中国人倾向于聚在一起说普通话。总体上，与印度移民相比，他们在社交上显得不太主动。这种倾向导致了政治上的隐形。 意识到这一点后，我发现自己很难融入任何一个社群，只能选择独处。我也意识到，自己因注意到刻板印象而陷入刻板印象。我游离于社区之外。 部分原因是因为缺乏社交成熟。中国的教育体系在某些方面确实有优点，比如基础数学技能的整体提升。但由于外部世界被父母、老师和国家预先“消化”过，这常导致一种永远的学生心态。 一种等待指令和目标的心态。一种牺牲自主性、以“这对我来说没什么意义”换取“成功”的实际和有形成果、权威认可与奖励的心态。 中国文化中的友谊群体往往不是基于个人兴趣，而是因为大家都被塑造成了大致相同的模样。如果你在公司里的一个团队工作，那么那个团队也就成为了你的社交圈。几乎没有人试图突破命运的安排去主动拓展关系。 从这个意义上来说，每一段关系都是一种“情景关系”。只要火锅桌上的座位被填满，坐的是谁真的重要吗？ 这并非中国所独有。集体主义文化倾向于同质化，从而将熟悉感、安全感和归属感商品化。这是将正统的特权推向极端的表现。 韩国和日本的文化输出掩盖了它们与中国的儒家文化根源的共同性。中国的“996”工作文化、韩国的财阀体制、日本的企业集团——这些都是“完全归属某物”的体现。 加入中国共产党和攻读MBA在我看来是相似的。 “我知道如何玩这个游戏。” 你不能同时参与两个这样的游戏。 --- “中国人是‘无脑机器’”的刻板印象，我认为是不公平的。“每个人只是相同人的稍微不同的变体。”这种说法常只是种族主义的委婉表达，用来抹杀个体的独特性。 一个以奶油闻名的日本城市，会以其手工艺术品和保护传统价值观而闻名。一个生产全世界眼镜的中国城市，却只是“某某中国城11号”，一个可以通过贬低质量来压低价格、然后以20倍溢价出售为高质量产品的地方。 比如，传闻露露柠檬（Lululemon）的创始人认为，日本人无法正确发音这个品牌的名字很有趣，却愿意花高价购买这种高利润的“奢侈品”。 我想中国人或韩国人可能对此一笑置之，但我怀疑创始人是否认真区分过“东方人”。 排队买拉面似乎有时像是在向东方道歉。“这真的太好吃了，太不一样了，太有文化了！”他们知道吗？即使在日本，拉面也被认为是中国食物。没有片假名来将其推入公众可接受范围的拼音“拉面”毫无意义。 --- 我记得美国的中学和高中生活，当时作为一个“FOB”（刚下飞机的移民）几乎是社交的死刑。你会被人当面或背后取笑，而你甚至“听不出来”。如果你是FOB，你就不属于文化潮流，而只是一个社交商品。像混凝土一样，是上层阶级体系隐形的基础。 我也记得在中国的高中生活。有人会因为我“不够聪明”而疏远我。我的整个身份都建立在擅长数学和当一个好学生的基础上，这让我倍感冲击。即使我是社交上的隐形人，但至少我很聪明吧。然而，事实并非如此。我不过是另一个笨美国人罢了。 在美国，有时本土出生的东亚人想与大陆人划清界限。互动常常带着距离感，像在戳探路边的动物尸体。如果两者太过接近，就很难在别人眼中区分开来。这种现象在女性中更为明显，而男性则更容易通过体育、英雄联盟或投资等话题建立联系。 我看到媒体对东亚男性的描绘。“这就是为什么日本会有女性专用列车车厢，手机拍照时必须发出‘咔嚓’声。”许多人怀念李小龙等演员，他们提供了一种刻板印象的替代形象。但这种形象从未真正演变。比如，我认出了《尚气》中中国男主角的演员，他之前在一部剧里演的是一个韩国人。 我曾参加过一次企业多样性研讨会。也许这就是我可以被看见的地方？我很快意识到，大家追求的并不是心灵或精神的多样性，而是身体上的多样性。这和每个试图争夺影响力与权力的政治群体的核心思想一样：**“更多的‘我们’，更少的‘他们’”。** 尽管从未明确指出“我们”和“他们”具体是谁，但每个人心里都清楚。 --- 与韩国和日本的文化输出相比，中国的出口产品似乎被漂白了文化根源。像抖音和大疆这样主导市场的高质量消费品，几乎呈现出美国的价值观：它们是用来炫耀的。而像阿里巴巴、Shein、Temu这类更有“中国情感”的产品，却往往被人秘密使用，仿佛在为自己不得不考虑价格感到羞愧。 许多人想象，如果中国共产党不再如此压迫，百花齐放，所有中国人都会突然表达出某种伟大的真理。但这未必是真的。 这一点，我理解父母那一代人。他们希望自己的工作能说明一切。“为什么年轻人有那么多话要说？”如果文化上的色彩降低了市场价值，那就应该将其去除。价格是衡量一切的标准。 虎妈并不想听带有东方风格的贝多芬演奏。她想要进入并得到美利坚和平时代的精英阶层的认可。 但当你隐形时，默默的辉煌是行不通的。 --- 或许这就是为什么看到“黑色文化”被融入一切时，老一代人感到如此冲击，而年轻一代却通过火影忍者、进击的巨人、嘻哈文化和“保持真实”而建立联系的原因。在硅谷繁荣之前，许多移民并不是生活在安全的高税区高薪专业人士。他们更多是犯罪的受害者。他们从不反抗，只是默默承受。 这种刻板印象的影子延续到人们看向中国时，心生疑问：“为什么他们不反抗呢？难道他们没有骨气吗？” 他们一边说着这些话，一边挥舞着一张面对坦克的人物照片。刻板印象很难摆脱，就像汗水粘在苦力身上那样。 即使是一个站在坦克前的人，当坦克开始将他的朋友、孩子以及子孙后代以历史上最快的速度带出贫困时，也可能会感到矛盾。 当革命者仍然掌握权力时，你无法号召革命。 --- 被商品化并被当作“物品”对待，会在心理上留下无法愈合的裂痕。也许在中国疫情封锁期间杀狗的事件最能说明文化差异。 在美国，甚至狗都不会被当作物品对待。像孩子一样，狗被认为是纯洁的灵魂，无论如何都无可指责。而在中国，至少在上一代人的观念中，孩子被当作一种投资。需要照顾，但也像果树一样，最终需要结果。 一种未来。 你不能期望独生子女在为无数代人提供意义的同时，不失去自己的一部分。 --- 那么……这一切和过度成就有什么关系呢？ 很长时间以来，我都在思考过度成就到底是什么……如果成就是被定义为“好东西”，怎么会有“过多成就”呢？ 简而言之，过度成就是一种牺牲不该被牺牲之物、换取过量“足够之物”的贪婪。是一种追逐过度区别的行为，尽管你已经与众不同。 因为区别从未被真正赋予，内心从未感到“足够”。永远不够钱，不够地位，什么都不够。只有一种持续的匮乏感，以及一种隐隐的焦虑痛苦。 当你迫切渴望填补内心的空虚时，你会燃烧那些神圣之物作为燃料。你牺牲了爱本身。 而没有爱作为万物的尺度，你将失去锚点。你成为一个假货，生产假货。用内心的真实换取外在的“面子”。 当中国通过牺牲爱来实现某种伪乌托邦理想时，其生产力和成就都显得空洞。 当它燃烧了将我们锚定于真实的本质之物时，成就本身也不再真实。 Discussion: [English](https://chatgpt.com/share/674d0dec-3798-8004-af06-e450baa3fed2) [中文](https://chatgpt.com/share/674d0e04-455c-8004-b092-3f62510dca67) --- --- title: "Stories and Vectors" description: "Who we are is who we are becoming" author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/stories-and-vectors date: 2024-11-25 modified: 2024-11-26 language: en, zh tags: best --- # Stories and Vectors An identity is this "Story of Me", a vector that points towards the future with both solemn gravity and hopeful yearning. The is different than when others point to "Me", with precision and finality. Externally imposed stories feel sharp and suffocating, even when well intentioned. We rebel against externally imposed stories. Who are they to tell us who we are and where we should be? When a story is not allowed to breathe it feels blocked. Anything that interferes is conflict and collision. Like at an airport where everyone else is an obstacle. Anyone who gets in the way is an enemy. Anyone going too slow is an NPC. ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/Z0PtZa8jQArT1QYa_DALL%C2%B7E2024-11-2419.21.53-Anabstractvectorartpiecedepictingthethemeof%27conflict%27%2Cfeaturinglong%2Ccurvyarrowsweavingandduckingaroundeachotherinvariousdirectio.webp?auto=format,compress) Retreats feel calm because the stories do not point so insistently, trying to shove their way into open space. Everywhere is open, physically and mentally. For a few days everyone puts down their stories. That desperate seeking subsides. The silence makes room for the storm to settle. The stories unknot themselves and gently float. The undisturbed reflections allow us to see who we were and who we are becoming. ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/Z0Ptda8jQArT1QYd_DALL%C2%B7E2024-11-2419.21.58-Anabstractvectorartpiecedepictingthethemeof%27harmony%27%2Cfeaturinglong%2Ccurvyarrowsflowingparalleltoeachotherlikeserenerivers.Thearr.webp?auto=format,compress) To be addicted is to be stuck in a story that is always fighting reality. One that has lost the plot and is always stuck at the airport. Ever other story is an imposition. You have to shove yourself forwards to feel seen. There is a constant fear of disappearing into the crowd. You no longer know why you are traveling or why you are so flustered, arguing with this random person. Something about not making it... *My* Story has a capital S, it should part seas of conflict like a prophet. A path paved to promised destiny. --- Like traveling in a car or plane, the more we only care about the destination the faster we want to go. We pay dearly for small luxuries in such a cramped space. We hold it in until we desperately need to purge. We reach open space to relieve ourselves of what we carry. Cigars are lit in the darkness. A flash of light. "I am alive." Another flash "And so am I." Red embers fade in and out like childhood memories of fireflies. The scent of flowers mixes in with bitter smoke. Outside everything glows softly white under the reflection of the moon... which itself is a reflection of the sun. A new day is rising. The stories move ever onwards. ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/Zz0J8K8jQArT1DHM_DALL%C2%B7E2024-11-1913.55.06-Adark%2Csomberforestinawatercoloranimestylewithnobunniesorcrystals.Thescenefeaturestall%2Cshadowytreesfadingintoamistydistanceand.webp?auto=format,compress) ## 中文版 (Chinese version) **身份是“我的故事”，是指向某个方向并带有一定动量的向量。** 这种故事不同于他人对“我”的定义。即使是出于好意的外界叙述，往往也让人感到锋利而压抑。 被置于高台上被人崇拜，有时和被忽视、被拒绝一样孤独；生于富贵人家的期望，可能像贫穷的限制一样令人窒息。 我们反抗那些外界强加的故事——他们凭什么告诉我们，我们是谁，我们该去哪里？ 当一个故事无法自由发展时，就会感到被阻碍。一切干扰都会带来冲突与碰撞。 就像在机场，每个人似乎都是障碍物。 每个挡住你去路的人都成了敌人；每个动作太慢的人则成了无关紧要的背景人物。 **而在静修的日子里，感到平静的原因是：故事不再那么咄咄逼人，不再试图挤入那些稀有的开放空间。在那里，无论身体还是心灵，四处皆是开阔之地。** 在这些日子里，每个人都放下了自己的故事，接受那种迷失感。不再迫切地渴望前行。寂静让风暴沉淀，平静的水面让我们看清曾经的自己、现在的自己，以及将来的自己。 在这短暂的时光里，故事们变得平行，就像漂流在同一条河流上的小舟。它们失去了那种尖锐和重要性，那种急切的追逐逐渐消退。 **成瘾，是陷入了一个永远与现实抗争的故事。** 这样的故事失去了主线，被困在机场的无限循环中，对其他所有故事充满了怨恨，视其为干扰。 为了让自己的故事前进，必须不断发出自己的声音，害怕在熙熙攘攘的人群中消失。不再知道为何旅行，也不明白为何对陌生人咆哮。只知道这一切与“无法抵达”有关。 更多的追随者，更多的认可，更多的股东价值，更多的点赞，更多的道德感，更多的美德……更多，更多，更多，更多——现在永远不够。 我们的“故事”带着大写的S，像先知一般分开红海，铺就通往命运的道路。 **就像一辆车或一架飞机，当我们只关注目的地时，前进的速度便成了唯一追求。我们为狭窄空间中的小小奢侈品付出了巨大代价。** 我们忍耐着，直到不得不在某片开阔地带倾泻那些积累的重负。 在黑暗中点燃雪茄，微弱的火光一闪，“我活着。” 再一闪，“我也是。” 红色的火星忽明忽暗，像萤火虫一样。 外面，一切在月光的反射下散发出柔和的白光，而月亮本身也是太阳的反射。 新的一天正在升起，而这些故事将继续前行。 Discussion: [English](https://chatgpt.com/share/6744c139-2780-8004-a37b-fc8f91e5dbde) [中文](https://chatgpt.com/share/6744c145-5db0-8004-9f3e-975b41b87239) --- --- title: "Skills are Relationships" description: "Your relationship with the piano matters more than your skill with the piano." author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/skills-are-relationships date: 2024-11-06 modified: 2024-11-06 language: en, zh tags: best --- # Skills are Relationships Every skill is a relationship. It's something to be nurtured rather than utilized or mastered like a tool. Learning piano develops a relationship with the piano. It shows you what kind of music you enjoy, what emotions it brings out. It shows you what emotions you want to create. It shows you how disciplined you are. It shows you how you react to facing an infinite game. It shows you how you deal with frustration. It shows you how you learn from others and the world. How you exercise or eat is reflective of your relationships with your body. It shows you your degree of self-acceptance. It shows you your comfort in your own skin. It shows you how you desire and want to be desired. It shows you your limits and your relationships with limits. How you spend your free time reveals your relationship with freedom. It shows what you value beyond obligation, what brings you joy, and how comfortable you are with yourself in moments of stillness. It shows whether you seek novelty, depth, relaxation, or adventure. Relationships are nurtured like a plant. When they are young they need constant care and nurturing. When they become established habits, they are more self-sustaining. Sometimes this is a good size. Sometimes it feels like stuckness. It depends on how satisfying the relationship is. Not every relationship has to be infinitely deep. Maybe the piano is like a friendly neighbor, not something you want to build an entire life and career with. The tiger mom corrupts the relationship with the skill just like having parents watch over first dates ruins the date. A mediated relationship never develops intimacy. Therapists know this as well. The client often has to reestablish a relationship with themselves by themselves. Advice and perspective is helpful but any excessive control corrupts the intimacy. ## 中文版 (Chinese version) 每一项技能都是一种关系。它需要被培育，而不是像工具一样被使用或掌握。 学习钢琴是在与钢琴建立一种关系。它揭示了你喜欢什么样的音乐，音乐带给你什么样的情感。它让你发现你想创造什么样的情绪，了解自己的自律程度，观察自己面对一场无限游戏时的反应，了解你如何应对挫折，如何从他人和这个世界中学习。 你的运动方式或饮食习惯反映了你与身体的关系。它展示了你自我接纳的程度，显示了你对自己皮肤的舒适感，揭示了你对渴望的理解和被渴望的心态。它让你了解自己的极限，理解你与这些极限之间的关系。 你的空闲时间如何度过，揭示了你与自由的关系。它显示了你在责任之外重视的东西，是什么带给你喜悦，显示了你在静止时对自我独处的舒适度，揭示了你是否追求新奇、深度、放松或冒险。 关系就像植物一样，需要培育。当它们还年轻时，需要不断地呵护和照顾；一旦成为习惯，就更具自我维持性。有时这是一种合适的状态，有时却让人感到停滞。这取决于关系的满足程度。并非每一种关系都需要无比深刻。也许钢琴就像一个友好的邻居，不是你想要与之建立整个生活和职业的对象。 “虎妈”式的严厉教育会破坏与技能的关系，就像父母监督第一次约会会破坏约会的氛围一样。被调解过的关系永远无法产生亲密感。 心理治疗师对此深有体会。来访者通常需要独自重建与自我的关系。建议和视角固然有帮助，但过多的控制会破坏这种亲密感 Discussion: [English](https://chatgpt.com/share/672bb155-c6b4-8004-9518-006fd5293ebe) [中文](https://chatgpt.com/share/672bbe09-b4dc-8004-bc28-adf038b75cd2) --- --- title: "Truth is Toxic to Most Companies" description: "Truth is counter-intuitively toxic to most companies." author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/truth-is-toxic date: 2024-11-05 modified: 2024-11-15 language: en, zh tags: best --- # Truth is Toxic to Most Companies *Epistemic Status: reflecting on naivety* --- Engineers often pride themselves at their ability to ascertain truth or at least get [asymptotically closer](https://www.lesswrong.com/) to it. However, in most companies, capital T Truth is toxic and the whole system is set up to avoid it. Think about a company being acquired by a larger one. First order of business is to cut costs and increase margin. This can't be done without knowing the Truth of which organizations are cost centers and which one are profit centers because all of them present themselves as critical profit centers. Even those that seem to obviously be cost centers often have high specific domain knowledge of critical systems and can use this as leverage to create symbiotic relationships with the rest of the company. Now realize that every company is like this even without an explicit antagonistic relationship. Powerful individuals end up in information bubbles not because they want to, but because of all the smart and motivated people around them acting in ways to maximize and preserve the existing status quo. A naive engineer blindly believes in the Truth as an ultimate virtue and that all problems can be solved if it were delivered to someone with enough influence or formal authority. But imagine an engineer presenting to the executives a manifesto of: 1. There is no way to reverse entropy 2. We're all going to die 3. Our core revenue streams will be disrupted by AI in 6 months and all our existing plans and motions are just performative ritual. This of course is presented to the 6 executives leading the new AI initiatives at the company. --- Truth is like radioactive ore. It requires an extreme level of expertise to extract net positive energy from it while dealing with its externalities. The truth of "intricately carved silicon & linear algebra seems to create intelligence" can only be extracted profitably by certain experts. In these companies truth is not a toxic asset because there's an entire system set up to process (most importantly, [convincing VCs of this for money](https://blog.samaltman.com/startup-advice#:~:text=10.%C2%A0%20Growth%20solves%20(nearly)%20all%20problems.)). Even interns are encouraged to debate with senior executives. However in most companies this is not the case. They are setup to digest a different kind of older truth, one that is no longer true. In most companies, undiluted truth is toxic. --- *Notice how this issue occurs recursively. Every company is pretending to be at the cutting edge of AI, pretending they can profit from truth when most are just trying to not die to truth. They are willing to fork out margin-destroying costs in order to maintain relevance.* ## 中文版 (Chinese version) 认识状态：反思天真 工程师常常以能够探究真相或至少接近真相为荣。 然而，在大多数公司中，绝对真理（大写的“真理”）往往是有害的，整个系统通常被设计成去规避真理。 想象一个公司被更大的公司收购。首要任务就是削减成本、提高利润。 这无法避免地涉及到搞清楚哪些部门是成本中心，哪些是利润中心，因为所有部门都会自称为关键的利润中心。即便那些明显是成本中心的部门，往往也掌握着对关键系统的高度专有知识，可以利用这种“不可替代性”来与其他部门形成互利关系，强化其自身存在的正当性。 实际上，即使没有敌对关系，每个公司内部都是这样的。 位高权重的人最终会被信息泡沫所包围，不是因为他们有意为之，而是因为周围的聪明人会有意无意地维护现有的利益和现状。 一个天真的工程师会笃信真理，认为真理是最高的美德，并坚信只要能将真相传递给足够有影响力或权力的人，所有问题都能得到解决。 但试想一下，如果某位工程师向高管们展示了一份宣言，其中包括： 1. 熵不可逆转 2. 我们终将消亡 3. AI将在6个月内颠覆我们的核心收入来源，我们目前的所有计划和行动都是表面功夫。 而这宣言恰恰是向公司负责AI新项目的6位高管呈现的。 真理就像放射性矿石，需要极高的专业能力才能有效地从中提取正能量，同时处理其负面效应。 “精密刻制的硅片与线性代数似乎能创造智能”这一真理，只有特定专家才能从中有效获利。 在这些公司中，真理不是有害资产，因为有整个系统为此而设，特别是向风投展示其潜力以获得投资。甚至实习生都被鼓励与高级高管展开辩论。 然而，在大多数公司中情况并非如此。它们的架构更适合消化一种过时的真理，而非当下的真相。 在这些公司中，未经稀释的真理是有害的。 请注意，这种问题是递归的。每个公司都假装自己站在AI的最前沿，假装能从真理中获利，而实际上大多数公司只是努力在真理的威胁下不被淘汰。它们不惜承担巨大的利润侵蚀性成本以维持自己的相关性。 Discussion: [English](https://chatgpt.com/share/67215047-ac00-8004-a2c7-9a2087155348) [中文](https://chatgpt.com/share/672bc105-bf24-8004-9185-e9fc6497cb5d) --- --- title: "The Mind as a Function" description: "Practical application of the \"Now\" Moment" author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/mind-as-function-now-moment date: 2024-11-05 modified: 2024-11-06 language: en, zh tags: best --- # The Mind as a Function Epistemic Status: reflecting on reflections of reflections of reflections --- ###### Per Eckhart Tolle's, *the Now moment* is a state of complete, undistracted presence, focused entirely on what is happening right now, without attachment to past memories or future worries. This shift in focus helps dissolve the "ego," which thrives on time-bound identity and thought. By embracing the Now, one enters a state of peace and acceptance, releasing the mind’s constant narrative and aligning with a deeper, timeless essence beyond thought. This present-centered awareness, according to Tolle, is the key to inner stillness and freedom from suffering. Eckhart Tolle's now moment makes a lot of sense. The present moment is all we have. Thoughts about the future or past are just the mind modeling the past or future in the present. The more we think about the past or present the more we escape into what is essentially a virtual reality world. Not that different than an online game or an addiction. But I want to propose a model of the this that is more practical. "Be in the present" moment isn't something that you can just do and meditation practices tend to have a lot of ritual and woo around them. This is the model of the mind as function. One that takes in the environment and produces a personal sensation of consciousness. f(environment) = conscious-experience ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/ZyqWaK8jQArT0PMF_Screenshot2024-11-05at2.04.06PM.png?auto=format,compress) --- The final conscious experience is all we can ever experience. Everything we do to improve ourselves like working out or studying or making money, all of it can only affect the "environment" or context from which conscious experience is created. For example, if you have a lot of money, multiple phds, and 6 pack abs, but your day to day is packed with managing others or flows of money, then your conscious experience is mostly filled with management tasks. Do you actually *like* this kind of management? We already *know* how to consistently generate a background feeling of anxiety and fear from any context. And while modifying the function of the mind to [generate perfect equanimity in all situations](https://youtu.be/WUhOnX8qt3I?si=8Fbj0pZhMVPiV0PE&t=74) can be a worthy goal... A more practical understanding for most people is realizing how much effort we spend on modifying our context to change how others perceive us. That is, we create models of others and then use these models to predict what kind of personal changes result in positive outputs from those models and then pursue those changes and hope that we are modeled positively by their true models by feeding their reactions into our model of their model of us and if it's positive then we good about ourselves. This is **insane**. ## 中文版 (Chinese version) 认识状态：关于反思的反思的反思的反思 根据埃克哈特·托勒的说法，“当下”时刻是一种完全的、毫无干扰的临在状态，完全专注于眼前发生的一切，而不执着于过去的记忆或未来的担忧。这种关注的转变帮助人们化解“自我”，因为“自我”依赖于受时间束缚的身份和思维。通过拥抱当下，人们进入一种和平与接受的状态，放下心灵的不断叙述，重新对齐于一种超越思维的深层、永恒的本质。托勒认为，这种以当下为中心的意识是通向内在静谧和摆脱痛苦的关键。 托勒提出的当下时刻确实非常有道理。毕竟，当下是我们唯一拥有的时刻。对未来或过去的思考，只是大脑在当下对过去或未来的模拟。 越是沉湎于过去或未来的思考，就越容易逃离真实，进入某种类似虚拟现实的世界，与网络游戏或成瘾行为无异。 但我想提出一种更实用的模型。 “活在当下”不是一句可以立刻实践的口号，而冥想练习往往又包含许多仪式和玄学成分。 这是一个关于心智的“函数”模型：一种接收环境信息并产生个人意识体验的系统。 f（环境）= 意识体验 最终的意识体验是我们所能体验的全部。无论是锻炼身体、学习知识还是赚钱等所有提升自我的行为，都只能影响“环境”或构建意识体验的背景。 例如，如果你有很多钱、多项博士学位和六块腹肌，但你的日常充斥着管理他人或金钱流动的任务，那么你的意识体验大部分还是与管理事务相关的。 你真的喜欢这种管理吗？ 我们早已知道如何在任何情境中生成一种潜在的焦虑和恐惧的背景感受。 虽然改变心智的“函数”来在所有情境中生成完美的平静是一个值得追求的目标…… 但对大多数人来说，更实际的理解是意识到我们花费了多少精力在改变自身的外在，以影响他人对我们的看法。 换句话说，我们会根据对他人的模型进行预测，判断哪种自我改变会带来他人模型中的正面输出，然后追求这些改变，并希望他人的“真实模型”对我们的反应能以正面反馈回我们自己模型的预测模型中。如果是正面的，我们就会感觉良好。 这简直就是疯狂。 Discussion: [English](https://chatgpt.com/share/672a9529-acb8-8004-ae75-09ed00a4b618) [中文](https://chatgpt.com/share/672bbeac-3e1c-8004-acbf-2e8a26b5023a) --- --- title: "Navigating the 6 Paths of Pain" description: "How to debug feeling stuck or lost." author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/6-paths-of-pain date: 2024-11-04 modified: 2024-11-06 language: en, zh tags: best --- # Navigating the 6 Paths of Pain Epistemic Status: speculative attempt at modernizing spirituality --- The six realms in Buddhism translate to Chinese as 六道 or the six "Daos" or paths. 1. God Realm 2. Asura Realm 3. Human Realm 4. Animal Realm 5. Hungry Ghost Realm 6. Hell Realm Now if you're like me, these realms don't mean anything. I've never seen a literal hungry ghost and even as a metaphor it's difficult to see any practical use in this model. However, the Chinese character 道 (the same used in the [Dao De Jing](https://a-casual-dao.theory-a.com/)) offers a clue This character translates both as Realm/Domain and Path/Way. They are actually the [same](https://www.iflscience.com/what-is-the-wave-particle-duality-76541). E.g. to master the realm of Kung Fu is actually to begin a journey of learning. **The 3D "realm" is actually the same as the 2D "path".** To me, the six realms are a way of navigating the dark forest of personal life choices. That is, whenever we ask "why?" we can use the 6 paths as a map to evaluate the answer to choose our paths and teachers and "debug" our lostness. Here's an example of a kid questioning why they are being forced to learn piano by a tiger mom: --- "Why do I need to learn piano?" "To be sophisticated and cultured." "Why do I need to be this?" "Because then other families will envy us." "But why do we need their envy?" "Because then my sacrificed would be worth it." "What did you sacrifice?" "My own dreams and potential" "But why?" "Because I had you" "Why did you have me?" --- Here you either have --- "Because of Love" --- Or --- ̶"̶B̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶f̶i̶r̶s̶t̶ ̶c̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶U̶.̶S̶.̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶r̶y̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶n̶o̶ ̶c̶h̶o̶i̶c̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶T̶i̶a̶n̶a̶n̶m̶e̶n̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶e̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶f̶a̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶g̶n̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶l̶i̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶e̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶b̶o̶s̶s̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶n̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶.̶.̶.̶"̶ "STFU and go back to practicing!" --- ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/Zyp4sa8jQArT0PCz_Screenshot_2024-11-05_at_11.56.15_AM-removebg-preview.png?auto=format,compress) Many children who learn piano this way end up hating it. They sense that the motivation isn’t healthy. Children can feel this intuitively, even if they can’t articulate it. (A motivation rooted in love wouldn't have sought envy) They knew that they just don't enjoy the thing but feel stuck and lost despite "technically" having the right skills. "Why" can be infinitely asked, but Love is a terminal answer that doesn't need further justification. This is what the 6 paths are to me. They are terminal answers that are at the foundational core of the "why-graphs" that provide the motivation and drive for everything we do. 1. God Realm -> Truth 2. Asura Realm -> Power/Status 3. Human Realm -> Love 4. Animal Realm -> Survival 5. Hungry Ghost Realm -> Money/Drug 6. Hell Realm -> Burning The paths are not orthogonal but woven closely together like a graph or a dark forest. An Asura may sacrifice brothers and kill enemies for power. But when a Google engineer [beats his wife to death](https://lawandcrime.com/crime/google-engineer-found-spattered-with-blood-and-with-swollen-purple-hand-beat-his-wife-to-death-prosecutors) the sense of power is fueled by burning yourself and your family* Both the Asura and the Demon use fire, but the Demon burns forbidden fuel. I'll expand on each realm more in-depth in the future but this model has been immensely useful for me when reflecting on my own life as well as my parents'. ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/Zylg668jQArT0LjT_Screenshot2024-11-04at4.03.47PM.png?auto=format,compress) --- *One of my motivations for trying to create a useful mental model out of this buddhist concept is that the above murder caused shockwaves within the Chinese & Chinese-American community but there was no way for anyone to make sense of it. (Perhaps the Chinese Christians had more luck?) It was just chaotic violence despite the two living the dream of graduating from the best school in China and working at Google. Buddhist ideas are the most common in China but like many "religions" are now mostly empty rituals and ideas. A lot of Chinese Buddhism seems to just boil down to "pray for money" instead of actually helping to make sense of the darkness.* ## 中文版 (Chinese version) 认识状态：试图以现代视角对灵性进行推测性探索 佛教中的六道对应的中文为“六道”，指的是六种“道”或人生的“途径”： 1. 天界（God Realm） 2. 阿修罗界（Asura Realm） 3. 人界（Human Realm） 4. 畜生界（Animal Realm） 5. 饿鬼界（Hungry Ghost Realm） 6. 地狱界（Hell Realm） 如果你和我一样，这些“道”可能听上去有些抽象，难以从字面意义上理解其含义。比如，我从未见过真正的“饿鬼”，即使作为一种隐喻，这一概念似乎也缺乏实际应用价值。 但“道”字或许能给出一些启示。在《道德经》中，“道”既可以指“领域”或“境界”，也可以代表“路径”或“方式”。这两种含义其实是相通的。比如，“掌握”功夫的境界，实际是进入一条学习的旅程——三维的“境界”与二维的“路径”在本质上是相同的。 对我来说，六道是一种导航个人生活抉择的方式，帮助我们在“黑暗森林”中找到方向。 也就是说，每当我们追问“为什么”时，我们可以利用六道作为一张地图，评估答案，以此选择我们的方向、老师，甚至“排查”迷失的原因。 例如，一个孩子被“虎妈”逼迫学钢琴时的对话可能如下： “为什么我要学钢琴？” “因为这会让你变得优雅和有文化。” “我为什么需要成为这样的人？” “因为那样别的家庭会羡慕我们。” “但我们为什么需要别人的羡慕？” “因为那样我的牺牲才有意义。” “你牺牲了什么？” “我自己的梦想和潜力。” “但为什么呢？” “因为我有了你。” “那你为什么要生下我呢？” ——此时回答可能会是—— “因为爱。” ——或者—— "因为我刚到美国的时候，一切都那么可怕，但因为天安门事件我没有选择，后来遇到了你爸爸，然后我怀孕了，我们总是钱不够花，我的老板也很刻薄，每天还要爬坡上下班……" “别废话，快回去练！” 许多在这种环境下学习钢琴的孩子最后都对钢琴产生反感，因为他们能隐约感受到动机并不纯粹。孩子们虽然无法清楚表达，但能直觉地感到，一种基于爱而非羡慕的动机才是健康的。 他们知道自己不喜欢这种事物，却在拥有“正确技能”的同时仍感到迷茫和束缚。 “为什么”可以被无休止地追问，但“爱”是一个不需要再解释的最终答案。 对我而言，这就是六道的意义：它们是位于“为什么”之问底层的终极答案，支撑着一切动机和行动的根本动力。 1. 天界 -> 真理（Truth） 2. 阿修罗界 -> 权力/地位（Power/Status） 3. 人界 -> 爱（Love） 4. 畜生界 -> 生存（Survival） 5. 饿鬼界 -> 金钱/物欲（Money/Drugs） 6. 地狱界 -> 焦灼/痛苦（Burning） 这些路径并非彼此独立，而是像一张密集交织的图谱或一片黑暗森林。例如，阿修罗为了权力可以牺牲同伴或杀死敌人；但若一名谷歌工程师殴打妻子致死，他的权力感则是以自我和家庭的焚烧为燃料的。 阿修罗和地狱中的恶鬼都使用“火”，但恶鬼使用的是禁忌之火。 未来我会更深入地阐述每一道的含义。但对我个人而言，这一模型对我理解自己以及父母的生活都有极大的帮助。 我之所以尝试从佛教的概念中提炼出这个心智模型，是因为前文提到的谋杀案在华人和华裔美国人社区中引起了极大的震动，但几乎没人能解释这背后的原因（也许基督教徒相对更能释然？）。这场暴力在两位精英人士之间爆发——他们毕业于中国最顶尖的学府，拥有谷歌的高薪工作，但结果却是混乱的悲剧。佛教思想在中国虽广泛流传，但如今很多“宗教”变成了空洞的仪式与教条。很多华人佛教似乎简化成了“求财”，却没有实际帮助人们理解内心的黑暗。 Discussion: [English](https://chatgpt.com/share/67295e9a-b36c-8004-b6c6-fdee94e7de3f) [中文](https://chatgpt.com/share/672bbf1c-9550-8004-a045-778a83a23124) --- --- title: "Investing is an Identity" description: "When negative expected return is rational" author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/investing-is-an-identity date: 2024-11-02 modified: 2024-11-15 language: en, zh tags: best --- # Investing is an Identity We can only really invest in a way that is coherent to our story of self, our identity. The best identity to have to maximize ultimate long term value is an immortal vampire that never gets bored. For the rest of us, our identities change... a lt. A bachelor's degree is 4 years. If you're part of an investing club are you really interested in strategies that take a decade to show progress? No, you want to impress your friends, your classmates, and potential dating partners. All who will change within 4 years upon graduation. Same with a career. You have milestones to hit like buying a car, living without roommates, getting married, buying a house, starting a family etc... Each of these milestones is a meaningful change in identity and they are measured in single digit years. So for many people it makes sense to chase high volatility strategies because these are the only strategies that make sense when we want and need change. **Even if the volatility has negative expected return.** Many things that seem "irrational" like investing in memes, hail maries, off-meta strategies, voting for a crazy politician, etc... are actually rational within this context. ## 中文版 (Chinese version) 我们只能以符合自己故事和身份的方式进行投资。 要想实现最大的长期价值，最理想的身份就是一个永不厌倦的“不朽吸血鬼”。 但对我们大多数人来说，我们的身份会不断变化……很多。 本科学位需要四年。如果你加入了一个投资俱乐部，你真的会对需要十年才能见效的策略感兴趣吗？不会的，你想要的是给朋友、同学和潜在的约会对象留下深刻印象，而这些人在你毕业后的四年内都会发生变化。 职业生涯也是如此。你会有一些阶段性目标，比如买车、独自居住、结婚、买房、组建家庭等等…… 这些目标中的每一个都意味着身份的重大变化，并且都是以几年为单位来衡量的。 因此，对于许多人来说，追求高波动的投资策略是有道理的，因为当我们渴望且需要变化时，这些策略才是合理的选择。 即便这些波动性策略的预期回报是负的。 许多看似“非理性”的行为——例如投资于流行话题、孤注一掷、非主流策略、支持激进的政治人物等等——在这种背景下实际上是合理的。 Discussion: [English](https://chatgpt.com/share/6737d1ac-e73c-8004-8a4e-8e1f31ade699) [中文](https://chatgpt.com/share/6737d22d-3718-8004-bea5-6c26a14458c3) --- --- title: "The Potential Energy of Love" description: "How technology reduces the amount of love felt in the world." author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/love-potential-energy date: 2024-10-30 modified: 2024-11-06 language: en, zh tags: best --- # The Potential Energy of Love Epistemic Status: a fun model to play with --- A tiered society is one where there is a "sea" of difference between members of each tier. "Knowing" someone beyond the protocol-mediated rules requires taking a risk to cross this sea. Think Aladdin and Jasmine crossing a sea of socio-economic status or Romeo and Juliet crossing a sea of generational conflict. A tiered society is "tyrannical" because it exaggerates the differences between individuals and gives them no hope of leaving their assigned stories. (e.g. caste systems) However the vast differences between individuals are also the source of the ["story" potential](https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2017/08/17/the-premium-mediocre-life-of-maya-millennial) that is necessary for love. When distances are reduced and everyone is accessible via swipe, the love stories only have enough potential to generate high-school love. There are no epic tales of two individuals each willing to cross a sea of the unknown, risking death and ostracization, in order to see each other one more time. Just a fear of no longer being cool. In the eyes of an algorithm, each meat-bag is just as capable as another meat-bag at delivering things to each other when GPS turn-by-turn navigation is provided. There is no specific reason why one is valued so much more highly than another. --- Not only does technology compress "space", it also compresses "time". Wealth that would have been built over a period of multiple Game of Throne novels crossing the rise and fall of multiple dynasties, tales of human love, hate, and a sea of corpses is now reduced to buying the latest dog coin and sipping second-hand details of the [SBF FTX trial](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-10-25/sbf-to-testify-in-fraud-trial-after-onslaught-from-inner-circle) from some AI powered newsletter that summarizes other summaries. The stories we can tell in our own lives pale in comparison to the stories in video games or TV drama and we lose our sense of self-authorship. --- Technology has a homogenizing effect the same way a teenager with a gun is equal to a Kung Fu master or how a new driver can be equal to an experienced taxi veteran. While there are obvious benefits, it also seems to flatten the topology of journeys and stories so that it becomes impossible to accumulate enough potential energy to have meaningful experiences of love. ## 中文版 (Chinese version) 认识状态：一个有趣的模型，值得玩味 在一个分层的社会中，每一层级的成员之间隔着一片巨大的“海洋”，代表彼此之间的巨大差异。要“了解”超越礼仪规则的人际关系，就必须冒险跨越这片海洋。 比如，阿拉丁和茉莉公主跨越了阶层的海洋，罗密欧和朱丽叶跨越了代际冲突的海洋。 分层社会是“专制的”，因为它夸大了个人之间的差异，使人们失去逃离既定命运的希望（例如，种姓制度）。然而，个人之间的巨大差异也构成了爱情故事的潜在源泉。 当距离缩短，所有人都可通过滑动屏幕轻松找到对方时，爱情故事只能生成像“校园恋爱”那样简单的情节。再也没有史诗般的故事，讲述两个彼此心生向往的人冒着死亡和被逐出社会的风险，只为再见对方一面。留下的，只是对“失去潮流感”的恐惧。 在算法眼中，每个人都是差不多的“肉身容器”，能够在导航的帮助下为彼此提供相同的物质服务。没有特别的理由使一个人比另一个人更珍贵。 科技不仅压缩了“空间”，也压缩了“时间”。 财富的积累原本需要经历如《权力的游戏》般多卷本的史诗，从朝代更替、人间爱恨到尸横遍野，充满人类的情感和故事，而现在只需买入最新的狗狗币，同时从AI驱动的新闻简报中读到SBF FTX审判的二手信息摘要。 我们自己生活中能够讲述的故事，与电子游戏或电视剧里的故事相比显得苍白无力，从而逐渐丧失了自我书写感。 科技对人类有一种同质化的影响，正如一个拿枪的少年和一位功夫大师之间的平衡被打破，或一个新司机和一位资深出租车司机在驾驶技术上被拉平。 这种趋势带来的益处显而易见，但它也似乎使得人生故事的地形变得平坦，以至于无法积累足够的潜在能量去经历真正深刻的爱情体验。 Discussion: [English](https://chatgpt.com/share/6722955c-f3dc-8004-bdea-f6640068f3ab) [中文](https://chatgpt.com/share/672bc09a-e1dc-8004-aa04-fac35086b82c) --- --- title: "The Virtues of Victimhood" description: "Are there any downsides to eliminating suffering?" author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/virtues-of-victimhood date: 2024-09-10 modified: 2024-11-05 language: en --- # The Virtues of Victimhood Epistemic Status: not sure if 'victimhood' is the right word, more like the opposite of a god-complex in a 'the meek shall inherit the earth' sense. --- Technology feels urgent to the degree of victimhood felt. Someone who feels persecuted will desperately reach for a sword or a gun to even the odds against a bully. Victimhood has a wide range. From a solitary [friendly-ambitious-nerd](https://visakanv.com/) looking to reach out and connect with others, to a tech-elite feeling bullied by death. Solving victimhood seems to be a good thing for the former, and feels excessive for the latter. If eliminating victimhood is considered a sacred value of infinite worth, then the amount of technology that should be embraced is also infinite. Thinking about this reminds of of the high status of Japanese craftsmanship in the western world. Japanese games and society often purposely apply victimhood. Think about games like Sekiro and Dark Souls from [FromSoftware](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FromSoftware), the surreal stories of [Haruki Murakami](https://www.harukimurakami.com/), and the time scales involved in bonsai cultivation. Unlike experiences that are commodified for a wide audience, difficult experiences create hard blockers through unrelenting skill checks. Although the process is painful, you leave the experience feeling changed. The artificially inflicted victimhood made you feel like you've lived and finished a "chapter" of your life rather than stuck in a time loop reliving the same day. What an single-minded focus on eliminating victimhood misses is that overcoming victimhood is the only way to achieve a sense of closure and move the story forward. The more you can control things and remove obstacles through a simple act of will, the less that will is sharpened on the whetstone of reality and the less capable it is of dealing with the terror of a blank void. Discussion: [English](https://chatgpt.com/share/672298e2-1c64-8004-b485-2317ec231d11) --- --- title: "Gumption Trap Cheatsheet" description: "Avoiding the setbacks and hangups that cause us to give up completely." author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/gumption-trap-cheatsheet date: 2023-08-15 modified: 2023-10-25 language: en, zh --- # Gumption Trap Cheatsheet ###### The ultimate test’s always your own serenity. If you don’t have this when you start and maintain it while you’re working you’re likely to build your personal problems right into the machine itself - ZAMM ### What is a Gumption Trap? A gumption trap is an event that causes us to lose passion and craftsmanship for a project. While a regular setback makes us want to take a break, a gumption trap makes us want to set the project on fire and throw it off a cliff. It was first used in Robert Pirsig's cult classic "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance". ### Why do they occur? Pirsig defines it as anything that causes us to lose sight of "Quality" and no longer care about how well something is done. We just want to get it over with, even if it means walking away altogether. Gumption traps occur because passion is a non-renewable resource. It's near impossible to "force" ourselves to care about something. We can only increase our sophistication at acting like we care. Energy can be renewed with a break. Time can be increased by re-scoping expectations. But running out of gumption is a game over. So it's the most important thing to safeguard. ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/8a5056e8-f59f-4919-96e5-5fa942ffa695_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-24+17.11.21+-+Watercolor+painting_+1792x1024_+Deep+below+the+ocean%27s+surface%2C+a+fragile+house+of+cards+stands+on+the+ocean+floor.+Bioluminescent+creatures+cast+a+ge.png?auto=compress,format) ### Examples of Gumption Traps #### Forced Backtracking When you're almost at the end of a project that involves a complex sequence of steps but discover something that requires you to basically start all over. ###### This occurs usually at a time when you think you're almost done. After days of work you finally have it all together except for: What's this? A connecting-rod bearing liner?! How could you have left that out? Oh Jesus, everything's got to come apart again! - ZAMM #### Gumption Desperation When you realize you're about to lose motivation for the project so you hurry up wildly in an effort to make up for lost time. This rarely works as it just creates more mistakes. It's the "Hail Mary" strategy of negative expected returns but high potential reward. Buying lottery tickets and trolling online are examples in real life and in online games where you internally give up on at succeeding using the conventional path #### Intermittent Failures These are failures that disappear as soon as you try to debug them and can't be consistently reproduced. You don't know why they happen and you can never sure that they are 100% fixed. They're discouraging when they happen over and over again despite multiple layers of duct tape attempts. They exist in the background like an constantly looming shadow, threatening to sabotage all future initiatives. #### Value Rigidity This is a inability to re-value what you see because of a commitment to previous values. An example is a pre-mature diagnosis that prevents you from making new discoveries as new information is discovered. It's like a jigsaw that you're sure you have the pieces to but is actually missing a few. Like a monkey with its fist in a jar, it's impossible to escape the currently situation without letting go of something valuable. #### Anxiety ###### This gumption trap of anxiety, which results from overmotivation, can lead to all kinds of errors of excessive fussiness. You fix things that don't need fixing, and chase after imaginary ailments. You jump to wild conclusions and build all kinds of errors into the machine because of your own nervousness. These errors, when made, tend to confirm your original underestimation of yourself. This leads to more errors, which lead to more underestimation, in a self-stoking cycle. - ZAMM ### Boredom ###### > Boredom means you’re off the Quality track, you’re not seeing things freshly, you’ve lost your “beginner’s mind” and your motorcycle is in great danger. Boredom means your gumption supply is low and must be replenished before anything else is done. When you’re bored, stop! Go to a show. Turn on the TV. Call it a day. Do anything but work on that machine. If you don’t stop, the next thing that happens is the Big Mistake, and then all the boredom plus the Big Mistake combine together in one Sunday punch to knock all the gumption out of you and you are really stopped. - ZAMM ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/95c2bdac-71dd-4ad3-90db-a473c41512e1_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-24+17.06.32+-+Watercolor+painting_+1792x1024_+A+mechanical+contraption+riddled+with+patches%2C+tapes%2C+and+band-aids+stands+in+the+center.+Occasionally%2C+a+component+wo.png?auto=compress,format) ### Examples in Software Engineering #### 1. Legacy Code Labyrinth You're given the responsibility to modify or extend a piece of legacy software. As you delve deeper, you realize there's minimal documentation, no unit tests, and the original developers are long gone. Every modification seems to break another feature, and the entire codebase feels like a fragile house of cards. You're tempted to rewrite the whole thing, but time constraints and lack of organizational support demoralize you. #### 2. Dependency Hell After spending hours developing a feature, you decide to integrate a new library or tool. This results in a cascade of incompatible dependencies. Every solution you try introduces new conflicts. The more you untangle, the more convoluted it gets, leading to a strong urge to scrap everything and start over. #### 3. Endless Refactoring Cycle The pursuit of the "perfect" code leads you down a rabbit hole of constant refactoring. Each change seems to make sense in isolation, but collectively, they lead to over-engineering and code that's even harder to understand. This obsession with perfection can sap enthusiasm and lead to burnout. #### 4. Shifting Requirements Whirlwind Just as you're about to complete a feature, stakeholders change their minds, and the requirements shift. The new changes negate much of your previous work. This repetitive cycle not only diminishes the value of your efforts but also leads to disillusionment and dwindling passion for the project. #### 5. Feedback Loop Frustration You push code, expecting it to pass all tests and checks, but it fails due to some trivial issues or flaky tests. Each iteration requires waiting for the entire CI/CD pipeline to complete. This inefficient feedback loop erodes your patience and enthusiasm for the task at hand. #### 6. Unrealistic Optimism Overload You underestimate the complexity of a task, thinking it'll be straightforward. As you start, you uncover layers of intricacies. The discrepancy between your initial estimate and the actual effort required creates frustration, leading to reduced motivation and the desire to cut corners. #### 7. Documentation Desert You're trying to integrate with an external service or use a new tool, but the documentation is either non-existent or woefully out of date. Every step becomes a process of trial and error, and you feel like you're groping in the dark. The lack of guidance and clarity can rapidly drain your gumption. #### 8. Siloed Knowledge Sinkhole You're stuck on a critical bug or feature, but the one person who has the expertise is either unavailable or has left the company. You're left to piece together the puzzle with fragmented information, leading to a feeling of isolation and a decline in morale. ## 中文版 (Chinese version) ###### **一个人的内心宁静始终是最终的考验。如果工作时失去了这种宁静，你可能会将个人的问题纳入机器中 - 《摩托车维修艺术禅意》** ### **何为“冲劲陷阱”？** “冲劲陷阱”是一个事件，导致我们对项目失去热情和匠心。当我们遭遇常规挫折，可能只是想休息一下；但遇到“冲劲陷阱”，我们可能希望彻底放弃项目。这个词首次出现在罗伯特·皮尔西格的经典之作《摩托车维修艺术禅意》中。 ### 为何会出现？ 皮尔西格描述，任何使我们失去对“品质”的追求，不再关心结果的事情都可能导致“冲劲陷阱”。热情是不可再生资源，很难“强迫”自己关心某事。只能更加巧妙地表现出关心的样子。能量可以通过休息来恢复，但一旦失去冲劲，游戏便结束。因此，保护冲劲至关重要。 ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/8a5056e8-f59f-4919-96e5-5fa942ffa695_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-24+17.11.21+-+Watercolor+painting_+1792x1024_+Deep+below+the+ocean%27s+surface%2C+a+fragile+house+of+cards+stands+on+the+ocean+floor.+Bioluminescent+creatures+cast+a+ge.png?auto=compress,format) ### **“冲劲陷阱”实例** #### 强制回溯 当你的项目即将完成，但发现一个错误导致你必须重新开始。 #### 冲劲绝望 当你意识到即将失去项目的动力时，你会急于寻找替代方案，但往往会导致更多的错误。 #### 间歇性故障 这些是你尝试修复但无法稳定复现的故障，令人沮丧。 #### 价值刻板 无法重新评估你所看到的东西，因为你坚守以前的价值观。 #### 焦虑和无聊 焦虑和无聊都可能导致你失去冲劲，甚至做出错误的决策。 ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/95c2bdac-71dd-4ad3-90db-a473c41512e1_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-24+17.06.32+-+Watercolor+painting_+1792x1024_+A+mechanical+contraption+riddled+with+patches%2C+tapes%2C+and+band-aids+stands+in+the+center.+Occasionally%2C+a+component+wo.png?auto=compress,format) ### **软件工程中的例子** #### 1. 遗留代码迷宫 负责修改老旧软件时，缺乏文档和测试，使你感到挫败。 #### 2. 依赖地狱 集成新库导致依赖冲突，每次解决都引入新问题。 #### 3. 持续重构循环 追求“完美”的代码导致过度工程化。 #### 4. 要求不断变动 每当一个功能快完成时，需求就改变，使之前的工作失去价值。 #### 5. 反馈循环挫败 代码测试失败，每次迭代都需等待整个流程完成。 #### 6. 过度乐观 低估任务复杂性，导致挫败感。 #### 7. 文档匮乏 集成外部服务或新工具时，缺少有效文档。 #### 8. 知识孤岛 关键问题上卡住，但知道答案的人不在。 --- --- title: "A UX Manifesto Through Quotes" description: "Favorite quotes" author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/ux-manifesto date: 2023-06-15 modified: 2024-11-07 language: en tags: tech, best --- # A UX Manifesto Through Quotes ### Things Don't Change the World, People Do ###### > Interface matters to me more than anything else, and it always has. I just never realized that. I've spent a lot of time over the years desperately trying to think of a "thing" to change the world. I now know why the search was fruitless -- things don't change the world. People change the world by using things. The focus must be on the "using", not the "thing". Now that I'm looking through the right end of the binoculars, I can see a lot more clearly, and there are projects and possibilities that genuinely interest me deeply. - Bret Victor ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/85db8b22-560c-4124-a2e2-8a413643a33e_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.10.08+-+16_9+watercolor+depiction+of+a+grayscale-to-color+spectrum.+The+grayscale+portion+represents+inert+tools_+while+the+colorful+portion+bursts+with+abstr.png?auto=compress,format) ### Working Systems ###### > A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. A complex system designed from scratch never works and cannot be patched up to make it work. You have to start over with a working simple system. - John Gall ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/e6b3b6cc-f0de-4605-b21f-41f4e6d4ae21_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.11.53+-+16_9+watercolor+painting+depicting+a+simple_+functional+machine+at+the+left%2C+gradually+evolving+into+a+complex%2C+intricate+system+on+the+right.+In+betw.png?auto=compress,format) ### Elaborate vs Simple ###### > The opposite of "simple" is not "complex," but rather "elaborate." One of the most important virtues of visual thinking is its ability to clarify things so that the complex can be better understood, but that does not mean that all good visual thinking is about simplification. The real goal of visual thinking is to make the complex understandable by making it visible -- not by making it simple. Whether that goal demands a simple picture, an elaborate one, or an intentionally complex one is almost always determined by the audience and its familiarity with the subject being addressed - Dan Roam ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/f380d5ee-67d8-4040-971c-a80027d5c323_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.17.09+-+16_9+watercolor+painting+of+a+clock.+The+left+half+of+the+clock+is+stripped+down_+basic%2C+and+represents+%27simple%27+timekeeping.+The+right+half+is+ornate.png?auto=compress,format) ### Committees and Compromise ###### > I conclude that there are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. It demands the same skill, devotion, insight, and even inspiration as the discovery of the simple physical laws which underlie the complex phenomena of nature. It also requires a willingness to accept objectives which are limited by physical, logical, and technological constraints, and to accept a compromise when conflicting objectives cannot be met. No committee will ever do this until it is too late. - C.A.R Hoare ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/d01d70f3-40f3-46a8-b978-b9a44fc3b117_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.18.29+-+16_9+watercolor+depiction+of+a+conference+room.+At+one+end+of+the+table_+a+single+individual+sketches+a+simple%2C+clear+software+design%2C+representing+in.png?auto=compress,format) ### The Right Kind of Magic ###### > The magic we need more in today's technological world is of the latter kind. We should strive to increase deepness rather than outward Complexity, human virtuosity rather than consumerism, flexibility rather than effortlessness. The mysteries should invite attempts at understanding and exploitation rather than blind reliance or worship; this is also the key difference between esoterica and superstition. - Viznut ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/d8a5b028-8b70-42fa-a1df-fc9bf978945f_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.24.00+-+16_9+watercolor+painting+depicting+a+serene+pond.+On+one+side_+the+water+is+shallow+with+fleeting+ripples%2C+symbolizing+superficiality.+On+the+opposite.png?auto=compress,format) ### Cults vs Clubs ###### > We divide groups into cults and clubs, and dismiss the former for their insularity and the latter for their banality. The cult is the place where, cut off from your peers, you become crazy. The club is the place where, surrounded by your peers, you become boring. Yet if you can combine the best of those two -- the right kind of insularity with the right kind of homogeneity -- you create an environment both safe enough and stimulating enough to make great thoughts possible. - Malcolm Gladwell ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/7466890e-3716-49dc-89fb-3f18858ba4c7_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.26.19+-+16_9+watercolor+painting+of+a+triptych.+The+left+panel+showcases+a+secluded+forest_+representing+the+insularity+of+cults%2C+with+an+individual+lost+in+d.png?auto=compress,format) ### Create ###### > when you don't create things, you become defined by your tastes rather than ability. your tastes only narrow & exclude people. so create. - Unknown ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/3e08bf66-7a1f-41c0-be78-99b4b170c54b_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.28.33+-+16_9+watercolor+painting+illustrating+a+transformation.+On+the+left_+an+individual+sits+surrounded+by+walls+adorned+with+various+art%2C+representing+bei.png?auto=compress,format) ### Inverse Vandalism ###### > A twentieth century problem is that technology has become too "easy". When it was hard to do anything whether good or bad, enough time was taken so that the result was usually good. Now we can make things almost trivially, especially in software, but most of the designs are trivial as well. This is inverse vandalism: the making of things because you can. Couple this to even less sophisticated buyers and you have generated an exploitation marketplace similar to that set up for teenagers. - Alan Kay ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/c866a38b-d5a9-4b60-aaee-c792317973e5_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.32.34+-+16_9+watercolor+artwork+of+a+historic+monument_+with+a+%27vandal%27+enthusiastically+adorning+it+with+bright+stickers%2C+faux+jewels%2C+and+fluorescent+paint.png?auto=compress,format) ### A Willingness to Be Misunderstood ###### > Oftentimes, invention requires a long-term willingness to be misunderstood. You do something that you genuinely believe in, that you have conviction about, but for a long period of time, well-meaning people may criticize that effort. When you receive criticism from well-meaning people, it pays to say -- first of all, search yourself -- "Are they right?" And if they are, you need to adapt what you're doing. If they're not right, if you really have conviction that they're not right, you need to have that long-term willingness to be misunderstood. It's a key part of invention. - Jeff Bezos ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/9455c808-c63d-4fc1-8d98-fc6ac6ad0826_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.35.25+-+16_9+watercolor+painting+of+a+maze+with+high+walls.+In+the+center_+an+individual+stands%2C+plotting+a+course.+Surrounding+the+maze%2C+onlookers+point+in+v.png?auto=compress,format) ### Measurement ###### > Imagine you have a friend who has trouble forming relationships with women, and he tells you, "I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I go on a date, and I bring a thermometer so I can measure their skin temperature. I bring calipers so I can measure their pupil, to see when it's expanding and contracting..." The point is, it doesn't even matter if these are the correct things to measure to predict someone's sexual arousal. If you bring a thermometer and calipers with you on a date... There's really only one important question worth asking, which is: what is a life well-lived?... That's a question that can't be answered, but one thing we can say, with a lot of certainty, is that a life well-lived is not going to be a life in which every moment is scrutinized. - Frank Lantz ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/aa62e22a-2c2a-4909-ac66-d2ce2957f6de_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.41.30+-+16_9+watercolor+depiction+of+a+park.+In+the+foreground_+an+individual+tries+to+measure+the+beauty+of+flowers+with+rulers+and+devices%2C+missing+the+esse.png?auto=compress,format) ### Little Bird ###### > Brave to write it, all by itself, and then brave to show it. It is like opening your ribcage, and letting someone see the little bird you have inside. What if they don’t Love the bird? It’s not like you can change it. I mean.. That’s your bird. - Tycho ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/cd350383-33b5-4d79-818e-77e06987b08c_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.44.42+-+16_9+watercolor+painting+in+a+surreal+style_+depicting+a+ethereal+figure+standing+amidst+a+dreamlike+landscape.+The+figure%27s+chest+gently+opens+like+a.png?auto=compress,format) ### Killing the Goose ###### > Make the goose a manager. Give the goose a deadline. Require the goose to explain to you how they're going to make the next egg. This is just at the level of ridiculousness that's going on. Nobody who thinks like this has ever laid a golden egg. It's not their business. Their business is to count those golden eggs after they get laid. - Alan Kay ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/d8edfe83-789f-47ff-8458-89dd14bc176d_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+16.51.54+-+16_9+watercolor+painting+in+a+surreal+style_+showing+a+vast+office+filled+with+cubicles.+In+one+cubicle%2C+a+stressed+goose+is+surrounded+by+piles+of+pa.png?auto=compress,format) ### All this Hay ###### > Discoverability is often cited as npm’s biggest flaw. Many blog posts — scratch that, entire websites — have been created to try and mitigate the difficulty of finding what you need on npm. Everyone has an idea about how to make it easier to find needles in the haystack, but no-one bothers to ask what all this hay is doing here in the first place. - Rich Harris ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/f985f2e1-2979-4c65-8b70-de8852187efb_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+17.27.18+-+16_9+watercolor+painting+in+a+surreal+style_+depicting+a+vast+haystack+under+a+vast+sky.+Within+the+haystack%2C+tiny+glinting+needles+are+barely+visible.png?auto=compress,format) ### Individuality ###### > These are soft skills that we gain through practice over time. June eliminates this self-education. Instead of teaching ourselves to cook, we’re teaching a machine to cook. And while that might make a product more valuable in the long term for a greater number of users, it’s inherently less valuable to us as individuals, if for no other reason than that even in the best-case scenarios of machine learning, we all have individual tastes. And what averages out across millions of people may end up tasting pretty . . . average - Mark Wilson ![](https://images.prismic.io/dlwj/e032e873-5640-4449-8714-6a6202e0030b_DALL%C2%B7E+2023-10-26+17.26.53+-+16_9+watercolor+depiction+of+a+vast+dining+hall+filled+with+people+of+diverse+descents_+all+being+served+by+robotic+arms+offering+the+same+plate.+Amid.png?auto=compress,format) --- --- title: "Bookshelf" description: "Influential books" author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/bookshelf date: 2023-05-15 modified: 2024-11-07 language: en tags: best --- # Bookshelf ### [Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance](https://www.notion.so/dlwjiang/Zen-and-the-Art-of-Motorcycle-Maintenance-17a1d5a408ee4766acabdc1a9f94b3b3?pvs=4) by Robert Pirsig ###### When you try to climb a mountain to prove how big you are, you almost never make it. And even if you do it’s a hollow victory. In order to sustain the victory you have to prove yourself again and again in some other way, and again and again and again, driven forever to fill a false image, haunted by the fear that the image is not true and someone will find out. That’s never the way. When analytic thought, the knife, is applied to experience, something is always killed in the process ### [Finite and Infinite Games](https://www.notion.so/dlwjiang/Finite-Infinite-Games-ca1cc9549a7249d1bd3a2eb44d70c301?pvs=4) by James Carse ###### Infinite players understand the inescapable likelihood of evil. They therefore do not attempt to eliminate evil in others, for to do so is the very impulse of evil itself, and therefore a contradiction. They only attempt paradoxically to recognize in themselves the evil that takes the form of attempting to eliminate evil elsewhere. ### [The Systems Bible](https://www.notion.so/dlwjiang/System-Bible-f738165e271d48c6bff201f168031ac5?pvs=4) by John Gall ###### A COMPLEX SYSTEM THAT WORKS IS INVARIABLY FOUND TO HAVE EVOLVED FROM A SIMPLE SYSTEM THAT WORKED. ### [Antifragile](https://www.notion.so/Antifragile-823e923d40654f65a0a651a8ce723449?pvs=21) by Nassim Nicholas Taleb ###### Consider that someone driving two hundred and fifty miles per hour in New York City is quite certain to never get anywhere—the effective speed will be exactly zero miles per hour. ### [Tempo ](https://www.notion.so/Tempo-a1ac60e47b8842848a0ecb48160cf9e1?pvs=21) by Venkatesh Rao ###### Many people fail when they attempt to get organized because they make the mistake of striving for legibility and meaningfulness to an external eye, by imposing conventional or received social meanings onto personal realities. ### [Speed of Trust](https://www.notion.so/Speed-of-Trust-6788977f39ee4a19b1293d37db0995f7?pvs=21) by Stephen M.R. Covey ###### In a high trust relationship you can say the wrong thing and people will still get your meaning. In a low-trust relationship you can be very measured and precise and they'll still misinterpret you. ### [12 Rules For Life](https://www.notion.so/12-Rules-For-Life-a5853d6df2004f838c8eb913cf044f05?pvs=21) by Jordan Peterson ###### Proper Being is a process not a state, a journey not a destination. It's the continual transformation of what you know, through encounter with what you don't know rather than desperate clinging to the certainty that is eternally insufficient. Always place your becoming above your current Being. ### [A New Earth](https://www.notion.so/A-New-Earth-a4e90ced75ec440ca8e7102e76e77991?pvs=21) by Eckhart Tolle ###### how do you let go of things? don't try, it's impossible. attachment drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them ### [Courage to Be Disliked](https://www.notion.so/Courage-to-Be-Disliked-202d9c13a1e64541a2c2e19b4f3861b2?pvs=21) by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga ###### All problems are interpersonal problems. ### [The Book](https://www.notion.so/The-Book-Alan-Watts-59d6965e1aa842dd899bf470b80fb9ad?pvs=21) by Alan Watts ###### And since this task is never achieved, he is taught to live for some future, if not himself than at least his children. Thus we breed a type of human that is incapable of living in the present -- that is, of really living. ### [Peopleware](https://www.notion.so/Peopleware-aeb37aa4c3164c2dac58e206bfb9d77b?pvs=21) by Timothy Lister and Tom DeMarco ###### A novice manager believes work can be completed without people's emotions getting involved. But if you have any experience at all you'll have learned the opposite. ### [Sapiens](https://www.notion.so/Sapiens-0faa8c2b46174ae3ad3510b4506ac2a6?pvs=21) by Yuval Noah Harari ###### Is there anything more dangerous than dissatisfied and irresponsible gods who don’t know what they want ? ### [33 Myths of the System](https://www.notion.so/33-Myths-of-the-System-c60efe4ad18d45bf8e8956b9ed96fc6b?pvs=21) by Darren Allen ###### Our society resembles the ultimate machine which I once saw in a New York toy shop. It was a metal casket which, when you touched a switch, snapped open to reveal a mechanical hand. Chromed fingers reached out for the lid, pulled it down, and locked it from the inside. It was a box; you expected to be able to take something out of it; yet all it contained was a mechanism for closing the cover. ### [The Body Keeps the Score](https://www.notion.so/The-Body-Keeps-the-Score-49680f72c243460a8124e974aa7d1ec9?pvs=21) by Bessel van der Kolk ###### This is particularly true if the abuser was someone close to them as a child, or someone they depended on, as is so often the case. The result is confusion about whether one was a victim or a willing participant, which in turn leads to bewilderment about the difference between love and terror, pain and pleasure. ### [Impro](https://www.notion.so/Impro-1eaaa07e85614f53ae75ea01e442e698?pvs=21) by Keith Johnstone ###### We think of art as self-expression, which is historically weird. An artist used to be seen as a medium through which something else operated. He was a servant of God. ### [The Inmates Are Running the Asylum](https://www.notion.so/The-Inmates-Are-Running-the-Asylum-d000f615c33e476cad1e84741ad498e0?pvs=21) by Alan Cooper ###### Unfortunately most products don't have a description, instead they have a shopping list of features. A shopping bag filled with flour, sugar, milk and eggs is not the same thing as a cake. ### [The Art of Learning](https://www.notion.so/The-Art-of-Learning-cac57e8b26f74278b41da8031f6f96d6?pvs=21) by Joshua Waitzkin ###### It is easy to speak of nonviolence when I am in a flower garden. The real internal challenge is to maintain that fundamental perspective when confronted by hostility, aggression, and pain. ### [Radical Honesty](https://www.notion.so/Radical-Honesty-383df4904adb4d74a3059c605335371c?pvs=21) by Brad Blanton ###### The truth turns into bullshit in the human mind just like food turns to excrement in the human body. Unfortunately, the mind doesn't expel its wastes automatically like the body does. ### [Atlas Shrugged](https://www.notion.so/Atlas-Shrugged-38918b5115af4f0ea7e039f9fa89fb63?pvs=21) by Ayn Rand ###### you dare not fully to be evil or fully to live. When you are honest, you feel the resentment of a sucker; when you cheat, you feel terror and shame. When you are happy, your joy is diluted by guilt; when you suffer, your pain is augmented by the feeling that pain is your natural state. ### [How to Talk so Kids Will Listen](https://www.notion.so/How-to-Talk-so-Kids-Will-Listen-06e8de925abe4d939bcb9682f311c115?pvs=21) by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish ###### When we give children advice or instant solutions, we deprive them of the experience that comes from wrestling with their own problems. ### [Seven Lessons of Chaos](https://www.notion.so/Seven-Lessons-of-Chaos-7fcafdbd53a34eea8cce1cf5343d5fb1?pvs=21) by F. David Peat ###### When our sole measure of time is mechanical, we experience time as a shopping basket that has to be filled to the brim. So we push ourselves, rush things and lose the flavor of life. ### [From Science To God](https://www.notion.so/From-Science-To-God-78d7c24042b740c9ba9714e85eff0ebb?pvs=21) by Peter Russell ###### Space and time are not , however , fundamental dimensions of the underlying reality . They are fundamental dimensions of consciousness . ### [Becoming a Technical Leader](https://www.notion.so/Becoming-a-Technical-Leader-521b943357c24696a714a20b664c9395?pvs=21) by Gerald Weinberg ###### Since you can't reliably know your effect on other people the best strategy is to accept that you'll sometimes be a laughing stock. If you can't tolerate being a public fool, you're not going to succeed in a role where all your actions are studied in detail by everyone else. ### [Are Your Lights On](https://www.notion.so/Are-Your-Lights-On-da1fcce89059457fafbfabb08ad3a50f?pvs=21) by Donald C. Gause and Gerald Weinberg ###### IF IT IS DAYLIGHT, AND IF YOUR LIGHTS ARE ON, TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS; IF IT IS DARK, AND IF YOUR LIGHTS ARE OFF, TURN YOUR LIGHTS ON; IF IT IS DAYLIGHT, AND IF YOUR LIGHTS ARE OFF, LEAVE YOUR LIGHTS OFF; IF IT IS DARK, AND IF YOUR LIGHTS ARE ON, LEAVE YOUR LIGHTS ON. ### [Surely You're Joking Mr.Feynman](https://www.notion.so/Surely-You-re-Joking-Mr-Feynman-ba086b1df54d427998b1da43b6157b59?pvs=21) by Richard Feynman ###### Finally, I said that I couldn't see how anyone could he educated by this self-propagating system in which people pass exams, and teach others to pass exams, but nobody knows anything. ### [Turn This Ship Around](https://www.notion.so/Turn-This-Ship-Around-ae3eec69f1ed4ac09f5b11abca211984?pvs=21) by L. David Marquet ###### So we had a system that was focused on understanding the status instead of actually getting the work done ### [The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing](https://www.notion.so/The-22-Immutable-Laws-of-Marketing-a22ce55a82154b62826e5cb527ad670e?pvs=21) by Al Ries and Jack Trout ###### You can't stand for something if you chase after everything. ### [Fountainhead](https://www.notion.so/Fountainhead-2ccc2b870ca74ed787651bff51d9b0d4?pvs=21) by Ayn Rand ###### Don’t set out to raze all shrines—you’ll frighten men. Enshrine mediocrity—and the shrines are razed. ### [Introduction to General Systems Thinking ](https://www.notion.so/Introduction-to-General-Systems-Thinking-8d63959eb5594f6ea665677798ed8166?pvs=21) by Gerald Weinberg ###### A system is a way of looking at the world. ### [Lila](https://www.notion.so/Lila-0b93986bc39b4b0e8a89b6c175cbee8f?pvs=21) by Robert Pirsig ###### There has to be a certain kind of people who can look at it and say, “Hey, wait a second! That’s good!” without having to look over their shoulder to see if somebody else is saying the same thing. That’s rare. ### [9 Lies About Work](https://www.notion.so/9-Lies-About-Work-0b53a0551dcb46a5bf21e1920821e05b?pvs=21) by Ashley Goodall and Marcus Buckingham ###### To re-cognize a person is to spot something valuable in a person, and then to ask about it, in an ongoing effort to learn who she is when she is at her best. --- # Poems by David Jiang Multilingual poems (English, Chinese, Sanskrit), language-model assisted. - [Spark](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/spark) (2024-11-26) - [Reflections of the Moon](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/reflections-of-the-moon) (2024-11-06) - [Shoot](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/shoot) (2024-09-15) - [Between Dogs and Cats](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/between-dogs-and-cats) (2023-10-22) - [Shapes](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/shapes) (2023-09-08) - [Lonely One](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/lonely-one) (2023-07-15) - [Dance](https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/dance) (2023-06-15) --- --- title: "Spark" type: poem author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/spark date: 2024-11-26 note: AI language model assisted --- # Spark ## English **Spark** I reach for faces, eyes that stray, their fleeting glances turn fast away a desert thirst, no rain, no stream, this yearning lives on borrowed dream the world reflects, but never stays, its shallow mirrors cast a haze. the gods may watch, then look no more, a fragile spark the dark devours ## 中文 **烛** 揽影寻眸目自移， 匆匆一瞥暗归离。 孤沙久渴云无信， 借梦成痕恨未息。 世间光影易成虚， 镜水空明似雾初。 天神一顾终无语， 微烛难拒夜深书。 ## संस्कृतम् **स्फुलिङ्गः** सन्दर्शयामि मुखानि तत्र, नेत्राणि यत्र सन्त्यजन्ति। मरुपिपासा, न वर्षं न स्रोतः, सप्नार्पणायामाशा जीवति। जगद् प्रतिबिम्बं न च स्थिरं, मृदुप्रतिबिम्बं तिमिरं दिशति। देवा अपि पश्यन्ति पुनर्न पश्यन्ति, क्षणिकं ज्वालं तमः भक्षयति। --- --- title: "Reflections of the Moon" type: poem author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/reflections-of-the-moon date: 2024-11-06 note: AI language model assisted --- # Reflections of the Moon ## English **Reflections of the Moon** leaving city's fading glow, enter night’s secluded space. silent trees in silver flow, world transformed in moon’s embrace. soft and gentle, lonesome gleam sunlight’s gift—a borrowed dream. ## 中文 **月照无声** 渐远人烟入幽境， 草木无声披冷光。 万象皆随月中影， 孤辉依旧借朝阳 ## संस्कृतम् **चन्द्रप्रतिबिम्बाः** त्यक्त्वा ग्रामध्वनिं शान्ते, प्रविशामि निशामधुनीम्। निःशब्दे वृक्षाः शीतांशु-धरे, सर्वं चन्द्रेण भासितम्॥ परं स एकाकी कान्तिः, सूर्यतेजसा पूरितः॥ --- --- title: "Shoot" type: poem author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/shoot date: 2024-09-15 note: AI language model assisted --- # Shoot ## 中文 **射** 重如泰山，立如松 开如满月，灵悟空 放如雷电，瞬如梦 心如止水，声入洪 --- --- title: "Between Dogs and Cats" type: poem author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/between-dogs-and-cats date: 2023-10-22 note: AI language model assisted --- # Between Dogs and Cats ## English **Between Dogs and Cats** dogs love deep, they never pretend cats move with grace, like they need no friend. in work we find, self-sufficiency's embrace, in leisure we roam, enjoying life's grace. bitter coffee's brew, adds flavor to days, sweet soothing tea, eases heart's maze. city sights abound, all the world in view, nature revered, with awe and respect too. needs and desires, in the heart we weigh, life's lessons learned, guiding us each day. ## 中文 **狗猫之间** 犬恩深，需依不矫情, 猫韵高，装作无需人。 劳动中，自给自足间, 悠闲游，尽情享人生。 苦涩咖，生活韵味丰, 甘醇茶，慰抚心繁忙。 城市游，天下尽收眼, 自然敬，谦卑畏敬中。 需与欲，平衡心中求, 生活悟，永存启示间。 ## संस्कृतम् **कुत्ते-बिल्ली के बीच** कुत्ते की ममता, बिना छिलमिलाहट के सहारा, बिल्ली की गरिमा, मानों नहीं किसी का प्यार। मेहनत में, आत्म-निर्भरता का संग, आराम में, जीवन का लुत्फ उठाएं। कड़वा कॉफी, जीवन की मिठास भरे, मीठी चाय, मन की भगदड़ मिटाए। शहर की सैर, सब कुछ नजर में आए, प्राकृतिक श्रद्धा, विनम्रता में समाए। जरूरत और इच्छा, मन में संतुलन लाए, जीवन का बोध, सदैव रहे जागरूक। --- --- title: "Shapes" type: poem author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/shapes date: 2023-09-08 note: AI language model assisted --- # Shapes ## English **Shapes** in shapes, intention unfolds, why draw with lines so bold? in sounds, hearts are swayed, why need notes to play? in minds, emotions are told, why need words to mold? in speech, tears are clear, why need their flow to appear? ## 中文 **形** 动能显意，何须图之线 音能达心，何需乐之章 心能诠情，何须字之形 言能明泪，何需流之始 ## संस्कृतम् **अनुभूति के पार** रूप नहीं, आस्था से जाना जाए, स्वर नहीं, भावना में समा जाए। शब्द नहीं, दिल से कहा जाए, आंसू नहीं, आत्मा से बहा जाए। --- --- title: "Lonely One" type: poem author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/lonely-one date: 2023-07-15 note: AI language model assisted --- # Lonely One ## English **Lonely One** in paths unmarked, through shadows dark, you wander lone, a flickering spark. seven devils line your route, each one sown from inner doubt. a heretic, with views blasphemed, a witch who's feared, a dreamer dreamed. you're skeptic, fool, your faith's undone— an outlaw in the eyes of one. yet on you press, through haze and mist, to see what other shun, resist. a pyre waits, its flame's embrace— to burn, to ash, then find your place. for only when you're dust and air, will new you rise, both strong and fair. oh, lonely one, to self be true— for new beginnings start with you. ## 中文 **孤行** 孤行漠漠逐长云， 内战外求多曲折。 疑虑心头常萦绕， 难为英雄更自孤。 望断青天凤求凰， 自焚重生换旧章。 涅槃火中寻真我， 不畏前路或曲长。 ## संस्कृतम् **अकेली यात्रा** अकेले चलें, लम्बे बादल का पीछा करें, आंतरिक संघर्ष और बाहरी खोज, भरपूर टेढ़े-मेढ़े। शंका और भ्रांतियों से मन भरा रहता है, वीर होना भी कठिन है, जब खुद से ही हो अकेला। नीला आसमान देखकर, मिलान की उम्मीद में, स्वयं को जलाकर, नया अध्याय लिखते हैं। फीनिक्स की तरह जलकर, अपनी सच्चाई खोजते हैं, डरते नहीं हैं, चाहे मार्ग कितना भी वक्र हो। --- --- title: "Dance" type: poem author: David Jiang url: https://dj.theory-a.com/writing/poems/dance date: 2023-06-15 note: AI language model assisted --- # Dance ## English **Dance** In the maze of fleeting years, woven tight with joys and tears, every choice and every chance, shapes the rhythm of life's dance. deep within the cosmic weave, truth's a thread you can't deceive. fickle woes and shallow strife, don't dictate the sum of life. ## 中文 **生命之舞 ** 流年似迷途, 欢泪交织初。 因果与抉择， 共舞在生图。 天命有恒纬， 真如不可欺。 闲愁与浮华， 岂变生之诗。 ## संस्कृतम् **जीवन की अनुत्तरित कविता **जीवन की राह में भूले नाविक, हंसते-हंसते भी आंसू हैं बहुत। प्रारब्ध और स्वेच्छा का मिलन, जीवन के नृत्य में वे हैं संग। किस्मत की रेखा कभी नहीं बदलती, सत्य को कोई भी नहीं हरा सकता। चिंता और भ्रांति क्या हैं, जीवन की कविता को वे नहीं बदल सकते।